


This Is Not About Us

by PradaPlease



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F IS FOR FRIENDS WHO DO STUFF TOGETHER, F/F, F/M, Multi, N is for anywhere at anytime at all down here in National City, U is for u and me, lena needs a friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 11:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10615992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PradaPlease/pseuds/PradaPlease
Summary: Mxy exploits a trans-dimensional loophole and returns to earth. Lena hires the universe’s most intense assistant. Kara can’t handle Lena’s troublesome bestie. Cue asteroid heading for earth!





	1. Include Me Out

Lena crossed her legs for a third time while looking at the sad excuse for a ‘resume’ in her hands. Finally, she asked, “How do you spell your name, exactly?”

“M-x-y-z-p-t-l-k. But my friends, enemies and fans call me Mxy.”

The handsome man smirked while lounging on the leather divan across her. Lena didn’t give him the satisfaction of returning the flirtatious gesture. Nothing was more repulsive to her than cockiness.

She said, “I think there must be some mistake, Mxy. I am the CEO of a billion dollar organization that primarily specializes in developing electronic innovations, not a modeling agency. You have the wrong address.”

Mxy mirrored her pose as he leaned back. He didn’t answer, sipping from the teacup in his hand and examining her spacious office.

Lena snapped, tired of his playful dismissiveness. She turned the paper in her hands and accused, “This is a close-up photo of you. Why would I hire an infuriating narcissist?”

Mxy pointed his index finger lazily at her and asked, “Is that pea coat Burberry? It is divine. Blue truly suits you.”

“If you continue avoiding questions, I will have security escort you off my property.”

“Funny! I was under the impression your security guards were dead after Cadmus purged this entire building during their last raid. And then your assistant kidnapped you and there was this whole hostage situation involving a nuclear bomb and a radioactive scented candle. To be honest, it made for great television on a Wednesday night.”

Lena stood and straightened the wrinkles on her pencil skirt. “You can leave through the door you came in.”

“But I have all the qualifications for this job,” Mxy insisted, draping an arm over the top of the divan. “I make perfect arm-candy at social events you don’t want to attend. I can take you anywhere in half a second. I’m physically invincible. I don’t know anything about filing but I’m sure it’s not difficult. And this thing—” His fingers wiggled toward the phone on the desk behind her. “—A telephone, correct? I just pick it up and press buttons. Any being with opposable thumbs can do that.”

Lena let out a half-laugh, half-snort. “You are, by far, the most egotistical man I have ever met.”

“I’m not a man. I’m a god.”

He was definitely charming despite his scruff. He had thick, black hair and bushy eyebrows and the most infectious smile. _I could see him playing a Greek god on television_ , Lena admitted internally. Despite his appearance, she said, “Are you deaf as well? I ordered you to leave.”

He set the teacup and saucer on the coffee table between them and stood. He didn’t button up his blazer or even glance at the door. _He has no intention of leaving._ Lena considered going back to her desk and retrieving the Taser in the top drawer.

“Miss Luthor, I’m trying to be a good citizen. Earth is a mystery to me.” He grabbed her hand in a lightning-fast move and kissed her palm. His lips brushed her knuckles as his eyes sought hers. “I am sorry if I have offended you.”

Lena shuddered, inexplicably captivated by his gaze. There was an otherworldly aura to this man. She took a step back and snatched her hand away. She accused, “You’re an alien.”

“Yes, yes, yes, let’s go with that.” He nodded his head and clasped his hands in front of his chest. “To win the love of my life, I must learn to be human – like in the Disney films!”

_Oh god, I have a brain-damaged puppy batting his eyelashes at me._ This was dangerous. Lena had a weakness for conflicted souls committed to a fresh start: Her mother… every time she lied about wanting to be a family again. Supergirl and her commitment to saving the human race after crash-landing on Earth. All the Luthor Corp employees she kept after they swore to remain faithful to her new business plans and corporate vision.

“I’m sorry but I must decline. L-Corp isn’t a Starbucks where I can spend an entire afternoon teaching you how to work the espresso machine. I run a fast-paced business and need an assistant with extensive experience in everything, from marketing to intimidating a Japanese affiliate to not retract funding due to budget concerns.”

“Not a problem. I’ve intimidated whole planets all my life.”

Lena laughed. “You are funny. I’ll give you that.”

“Yes, that was a joke.” Mxy looked around her office awkwardly, averting eye contact. “Please, it has to be you. I must work for you.”

Lena tilted her head, suspicious. “Why?”

“You’re a magnet for trouble and at the heart of many Cadmus schemes. By helping you, I would be inadvertently helping Supergirl.”

Lena sat down again, mostly due to shock. “You’re in love with Supergirl.”

“But she does not share my affection.” Mxy put his hands inside his pant pockets and turned to the floor-to-ceiling glass wall in front of her balcony. “I must show her through my actions that I wish to save the human race and fellow aliens. Perhaps, then, she will open her heart to me.”

_And here’s my mid-morning migraine._ Lena massaged her temple and considered her options. “You can’t win contracts with selfies.”

He appeared beside her in the blink of an eye. She jumped, startled, and attempted to put some space between them. He stopped her by smoothly resting his hands on her shoulders. He leaned forward and promised, “Give me a day and I will speak every language on this planet. I will memorize the best business strategies to become the perfect assistant. All you will need to do is show up to meetings so men and women can bow at your feet.”

“I prefer it when they hear my proposals with an open mind.”

“I can do that too.”

Lena squirmed in his embrace. “Only 24 hours?”

Mxy pouted. “I’m under the impression that if I do things with a snap of a finger it freaks mortals out. A day gives humans time to adjust.”

_I’m going to regret this._ Lena sighed and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she said, “We will have a trial period of two weeks. But don’t think I won’t fire you on the spot if provoked.”

Mxy put a hand over his heart. “I only provoke if asked, Miss Luthor.”

 

**_______________**

“No, no, no and no.”

“Think of the possibilities.”

“Don’t you have some proposals to photocopy?”

“Have you heard of digital presentations and the wonders of the internet?”

Lena narrowed her eyes and swiveled her leather chair around to face Mxy. “Don’t forget who signs your check every month, dearest assistant.”

Mxy inspected his immaculate fingernails while halfheartedly pleading, “Please, don’t fire me. How will I afford my penthouse suite downtown otherwise?”

Lena raised a brow. “I don’t pay you enough right now to afford that.”

“I have a side business harvesting planets to create a regenerating syrup that keeps the intergalactic elite youthful.”

“That’s the plot to the film Jupiter Ascending.”

“Oh, is it?”

Lena snapped her fingers and pointed to the door. “Get out.”

“You are being very unreasonable. Deals are sealed with marriage in the fifth dimension.”

“I’m _not_ marrying my biggest competitor. Besides, he’s already married!”

“An accident can be arranged for his wife. No problem.”

“I’m not hearing this. OUT!”

There was a light tap on her door.

“Excuse me?” Kara Danvers entered her office while fidgeting with her glasses and a brown satchel draped over right shoulder. “Am I interrupting? There was no one sitting at your…” Her eyes fell on Mxy and she immediately fell silent.

Mxy smiled widely. “Super—”

“Super nice to meet you!” Kara practically screamed, hurrying to him and shaking his hand avidly with a firm grip. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kara Danvers. Kara. Danvers.”

Lena glanced between the two warily, sensing an unspoken hostility despite the parallel smiles. Before she could comment on it, Mxy exclaimed, “It’s s-s-s-super to see you too!” He even pumped his fist in the air for added affect.

Kara looked like she’d just eaten a spoiled pear. She asked, “Who is this?”

Lena walked around her desk and waved dismissively in Mxy’s direction. “Someone useless. Don’t worry about him. Mxy, check with Solange to see how the Russian deal is going.”

Mxy kept his eyes on Kara. “It’s not going well.”

Lena pursed her lips, annoyed. “How would you know?”

“I know these things.”

“Well, go know things somewhere else.”

He pouted all the way to the door like a spoiled child before closing it daintily. Lena urged Kara to the couch with a wave of her palm and they sat together over an array of decorative cushions.

In typical business fashion, she broke the silence first. “Now, what can I do for my favorite reporter?”

“Independent reporter,” Kara corrected.

“I still can’t believe that irate editor at CatCo Magazine fired you. I would have hired you myself if you hadn’t decided to go rogue.”

Kara laughed nervously. “Thanks, maybe I can write for that new fashion magazine you’re apparently planning to launch.” She pointed toward the closed door. “Whose the supermodel?”

“A giant mistake,” Lena admitted, grabbing Kara’s right hand to examine a sterling silver bracelet with a heart pendant. “How lovely. It suits you.”

Kara blushed, slipping a lock of hair behind her hair with her other hand. “Thanks. It was a gift from my boyfriend.”

Lena immediately let go. She managed to keep the smile on her face despite the pang of jealousy in her chest. “Mike, is it?”

Kara nodded and then reached for her hand as well. Lena grew stiff as Kara squeezed it and leaned close to ask, “Pray tell, who is this mysterious Mxy?”

_I’m mistaking girl talk for something else_ , she thought, squeezing Kara’s hand back instinctively.

Lena rolled her eyes at the mere mention of Mxy. “I still haven’t decided whether he’s the worst assistant I’ve ever had or simply insufferable. Do you want coffee?” She didn’t wait for Kara to answer before looking at the door and screaming, “Mxy! Since you have your ear to the door, why not make yourself useful by getting us cappuccinos?”

 

**_______________**

 

Mxy was painting her toenails a glittery sapphire and she had, miraculously, not strangled him yet. He sang some disastrous pop song under his breath while completely smearing the color on her big toe. His shamelessness was almost as bad as his taste in music.

Lena took another drink from her flute. She would need a refill soon to avoid spending the rest of the night in a cell after committing first-degree murder—most likely with the 19th century candelabra on her fireplace.

She tried to raise her knee but Mxy’s left hand was firm around her ankle. _He’s the squealing sister I never wanted._

Her assistant sat at her feet over a threadbare rug she bought at an auction in Morocco. He was grossly out of place in his ridiculous Supergirl insignia pajamas while lying down on his chest and rocking his feet back and forth. _If he asks to do my hair next, I will hurl him out a window._

Lena shifted awkwardly on the espresso accent armchair in the center of her living room. After clearing her throat, she asked, “Mxy, do you get most of your education about human experiences from movies?”

He gave her a radiant smile and blurted, “This is so fetch!”

“Aha… okay.” She reached for the bottle of Dom Perignon quickly. “Well, let me explain something to you. Sneaking into someone’s house via balcony is called ‘breaking and entering.’ Do I need to explain the concept or have you seen one half-sensible crime drama?”

“I prefer ‘making a fashionable entrance.’”

“I don’t care what you prefer. How did you even make it? I’m on the sixtieth floor and there are no fire escape stairs.”

“Blue suits you.” Mxy said, ignoring her question and blowing on her wet toes.

Lena let her head fall back over the top rail in exasperation. Her fingers played with the sash of her bathrobe. “Why am I like this? I could have hired an eager recent grad too afraid to even glance in my direction.”

“Are you going to the National City Alien Welcoming Ball?”

“You aren’t even going to pretend you weren’t eavesdropping. Unbelievable.” Lena ran a hand through her mussed up hair. Her early night plans had been rudely interrupted by an overeager assistant wearing hair curlers. “Yes, I will attend. Kara invited me, personally. She’s very passionate about Supergirl and protecting innocent aliens from Cadmus.” Lena’s eyes strayed to the panoramic view visible through her all-glass living room. “It’s just… it will be the first time I see her with him… now that they’re a couple.”

Mxy’s head shot up with interest. “Him? Her boyfriend? Blandy McBlandsome?”

“Don’t call him that. You’ve never met him.” Lena cleared her throat and wiggled her toes, eager to change the subject. “Are you legally blind or have you never painted nails?”

Mxy took a dramatic intake of breath. He whispered in a pitchy tone, “You like her.”

“Don’t be absurd. Of course I like her, as a friend.” Lena downed the entire flute nervously.

Mxy wasn’t listening, too busy with a highly convincing reenactment of a melting T-Rex clawing at the air with tiny, tiny arms. The revelation seemed to have caused a mini mental breakdown. He talked to himself, eyes frantically moving from side to side. “This is a conflict of interest… what to do… we can unite to defeat a common foe… stronger together… anyone is better than that jean-loving nobody…”

Lena was not amused. “Watching too much television kills brain cells. ”

Mxy punched a hand into an awaiting palm. He stood suddenly and announced with conviction, “Let’s pretend to be together and make her jealous!”

Lena let out a dry laugh. “Yes, because we’re just oozing with unresolved sexual tension.”

Mxy put a hand under his chin and nodded several times. “Wear the leather-tight Versace number with the feathers over your breasts to the ball.”

The flute slipped from her hand and shattered on the marble. She paid it no mind, equal parts stunned and horrified. “How do you know I own that?”

Mxy started removing the curlers in his hair. “You pay me to know things.”

“But not to stalk me.”

“Oh please, you bought that three years ago in Paris. I didn’t even know Supergirl back then. But as they say in reality television, receipts don’t lie.”

Lena stood as well and pointed to her front door. “GET OUT!”

 

**_______________**

Mxy was breathlessly charming in his double-breasted Armani suit. Navy. Tailored. Accessorized with a lion patterned silk tie. The whole look made Lena relieved he was on her side.

He shook the investor’s hand one last time at the helipad and said in rapid-fire Spanish, “Muchas gracias por su tiempo. Este acuerdo comercial causará un gran cambio en su país.”

Lena also shook the hand of the President of the Republic of Peru. He was enthusiastic about the new trade agreement she brokered with the Latin American country. Or rather, the one Mxy had bedazzled and flirted his way through while completely disregarding her presentation. When he winked at a cabinet member mid-speech she considered stabbing him with a pen. Luckily, the woman only laughed and blushed for the rest of the meeting.

_I can’t believe we’re matching again._ Lena wore a Chanel suit with a navy trim collar. _He hasn’t installed any cameras in my apartment. How the does he keep doing this?_ Mxy had either figured out her daily aura color or was taking his ridiculous “matching couple” idea to the extreme.

As they walked toward the helicopter arm-in-arm, Lena accused, “You speak Spanish.”

She had been impressed by his flawless introduction and dismissed her translator. She regretted the decision five minutes into Mxy’s proposal fiasco. But somehow, like always, he managed a miracle.

“I speak whatever you need me to speak.” Mxy answered, pulling on the collar of her coat in a teasing fashion. “No color looks more dashing on you than blue.”

“What did you say in that meeting?”

Mxy faked a Sicilian accent. “I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Did you watch the whole movie or gave up halfway?”

“The Godfather is way too long.”

They sat in the passenger seats and buckled up. Lena immediately took out her iPhone and skimmed through the morning’s emails. “I don’t want another PR nightmare like when the president of South Korea was arrested over a corruption scandal three hours after our meeting. We keep this in-house until all the paperwork has been signed and I’ve relocated the machinery factories from Colombia.”

Mxy nodded, seemingly enjoying the sights Lima had to offer from his window. “By the way, I might have said L-Corp was going to speak with the U.S. Senate Committee on Foreign Relations so they can pressure a couple of conglomerates to minimize deforestation in the Amazon. We should get pollo a la brasa once we land.”

Lena looked up slowly from her screen. Her head throbbed. “What did you just say?”

“Pollo a la brasa, it’s like a staple dish with red peppers.”

“You promised the president of Peru that we’re going to _save_ the Amazon?”

“Only a fourth of it.”

For a moment, Lena thought she was fainting, the world leaning sideways in a violent hurl. Then she realized that, in fact, the helicopter had lost control and was careening toward a skyscraper. She fell into Mxy’s lap as the tail hit the rooftop in an unsuccessful landing. The helicopter skid scrapped through the concrete and a wave of turbulence careened her backward, audibly cracking her neck.

Mxy kicked out his door effortlessly. He grabbed the pilot’s seat by the headrest, ripped it out of the floor and threw the man out the missing-door hole.

Lena screamed, hair thrashing over her face. She watched the pilot disappear in a flash and accused, “He’s going to be injured!”

“At least he won’t be dead!” Mxy screamed back, ripping her seat out and holding it tightly in his arms before jumping out of the helicopter.

They landed on the rooftop just as the helicopter reached the skyscraper’s edge and dipped over it. It headed for Punta Hermosa beach in a nauseating whirl.

“¿Estás bien?” Mxy asked the pilot lying prone on the roof. The man gave him a shaky nod despite his bloody forehead.

Lena wiped the hair out of her face and saw the helicopter crash into the water with a loud splash. Swimming tourists swarmed it to gawk instead of swimming away. Typical Americans…

“Oh great, attack us in a foreign country Cadmus,” Mxy grumbled under his breath, stomping his foot.

Lena tried to control her shallow breathing. She was still buckled to the seat Mxy held in his arms like a weightless baby. She asked in a shaky whisper, “You have superhuman strength?”

Mxy shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. He watched the waves sweep the helicopter further into the ocean. “How frustrating. This is a lot more romantic than when Edward saved Bella from that skidding truck and we have no audience to jealously gasp over our amazing bonding experience.”

She slapped him in the back of the head. “Put me down this instant.”

 

**_______________**

 

“Do we look too amazing or does no one in this city know how to dress?”

“You’re horrible!” Despite her chiding tone, a giggle escaped Lena in a rush of nerves. _Damn it._ Mxy’s knowing wink made her stomach flip-flop.

They sat in the backseats of her favorite town car: a Mercedes Benz S Class with bulletproof windows and sleek black paintjob. She could have sent an employee’s child to college with the amount of money she spent on customizing the vehicle. But no amount of champagne, soundproof windows or massage-giving seats could make this drive even remotely bearable. And it wasn’t even Mxy’s fault… entirely.

The whole day she’d been on edge. She was late to her meeting with the National City Ethics Committee, accidently stabbed a French dignitary with her fork during business lunch, emailed L-Corp’s new year business plan to the IT team instead of her PR firm, and threw the “ _congratulations on not dying”_ flower bouquet from her jailed mother at Mxy’s head in a thoughtless fit of rage.

Mxy’s nose touched his window’s glass after something outside caught his attention. “Is that woman wearing sling back heels to a gala? And they say Cadmus is full of criminals. You deserve to be shot, lady!”

“Mxy, I really can’t handle you today.” Lena fiddled with the dragonfly broach on her elegant chignon. “If you could tone it down tonight, I would appreciate it.”

He looked at her as if he had no idea what she meant, utterly oblivious to his erratic behavior. He said, “So what’s our story? I’m thinking we met during a rainstorm after I offered you my coat outside your favorite bookstore.”

Lena sighed. “We’re not pretending to be a couple.”

“Then, I walked you to your car and you offered me a ride. And on the way to my apartment, we talked about all my favorite movies.”

“A cross-country road trip wouldn’t be long enough to talk about _all_ your favorite movies.”

The car came to a stop in front of a red carpet. On the sidelines, journalists took photos and screamed questions at attendees of the National City Alien Welcoming Ball. Lena’s eyes immediately went to the long stairs leading to the Luthor Metropolitan Museum illuminated by pink strobe lights. She wanted to reach those stairs as quickly as possible. Her day didn’t need to end with some inappropriate question being hurled her way by some seedy journalists, followed by a headline that included “Lena Luthor Had No Comment.”

Mxy sensed her apprehension and grabbed her hand. When the driver opened his door, he led her down the carpet, doing enough smiling and waving for the two of them. She leaned into him instinctively, her desire to disappear overwhelming her apprehension. Lena had no problem dealing with red carpets or journalists. But the idea of having to survive an evening next to Kara and her boyfriend had her tipping over the edge of an unfamiliar abyss.

“Miss Luthor, over here!”

“Who are you wearing?”

“Is it true Cadmus is planning a chemical attack for next week?”

_I am fine, thank you for asking._ It took all of her self-control to not roll her eyes. She didn’t miss a step in her Marchesa embellished column fringe gown of silver-tone silk. It was embellished with crystals so she shined brighter than a star under the camera flashes. The dress’s low-cut collar and nude lining would also distract the media and lead to unsavory articles about her “inappropriate” choice of wardrobe rather than her “terrorist” family. Lena knew which she preferred and she couldn’t care less what some third-rate blogger thought about her breasts.

They reached the museum entrance in less than five minutes and soon found their way to the introductory dinosaur exhibit. They walked under a T-Rex suspended by wires.

“I like your T-Rex, Lena.” Mxy commented breezily, as though he’d just complimented her blue diamond earrings—which he had already done that night.

“This isn’t my T-Rex,” Lena answered. “I gave my brother’s collections to the city.”

“They weren’t as terrifying in real life,” Mxy said, motioning to the bones with a dismissive wave of his fingers. “And I’ve met smarter garden lizards.”

Lena stopped at the entrance of the ocean exhibition, next to an aquarium of colorful coral reefs. A terrifying thought made her fingers instinctively flex in Mxy’s grip. “Are you saying you saw the dinosaurs before the big bad asteroid wiped them out?”

A flash of fear crossed Mxy’s features, and then he ushered her into the exhibition, a hand on the small of her back. “Nonsense, Lena! You know me! Always saying crazy things!”

Lena was ready to continue her questioning, his evasive behavior making her suspicions skyrocket. However, a familiar voice called her name from a nearby dessert table and her mind went blank. Kara wore a strapless flared dress in a sophisticated champagne color. It was short, simple and beautiful, just like her. Her hair was down in sweet curls. She waved happily, put down her cake dish and grabbed the hand of a man standing beside her.

Lena’s hold on Mxy’s hand became iron tight. She knew whom Kara was bringing over to introduce.

Kara stopped at arm’s length in front of her and said, “Thank you so much for coming. The museum director said you called so we could get access to the exhibition three days in advance to set up. You didn’t have to do that.”

“What good is influence if I can’t use it for important causes?”

“I’ve been meaning to call but I’ve been so busy!”

“Don’t worry, setting up nonprofit balls to increase awareness is hard work. I’ve carried out enough to know.”

Kara nodded and nudged Mike’s right shoulder with her left. “This is my boyfriend, Mike. Mike, do you remember Lena Luthor?”

Lena put on her fakest smile, the one that almost reached her ears. “It’s nice to see you again.”

But Mike didn’t pay her any attention. His furious eyes were on Mxy. His hostile vibe confessed that he wanted to jump her assistant and punch him repeatedly. If Mxy had already opened his big mouth and said something insensitive she wouldn’t have been confused. For his part, Mxy had become unrealistically fascinated with the chandelier on the ceiling shaped like a giant killer whale.

Kara looked uncomfortable, as if she held a ten-tier cake and didn’t want anyone to know it was on the brink of collapsing. She cleared her throat and shook Mike’s forearm slightly. He broke out of his stupor and smiled at Lena. He said, “It’s very nice to see you too. Kara has told me about the wonderful things you’ve done for National City. It’s great to hear that you’re nothing like your brother.”

Lena’s smile slipped instantly.

Kara smacked Mike’s forearm.

Lena moved on with expert grace. “And you know my date for the evening, Mister Mxy.”

Her introduction made Mxy’s eyes settle on the couple. He chuckled in a theatrical fashion and said, “Oh sweetheart, I think we both know I am more than your date for the evening.”

“Yes, you also pick up my dry cleaning. Don’t forget it’s tomorrow. Five A.M. sharp.” Lena slipped out of his grasp and looped her elbow through Kara’s arm, leading her toward the dessert table again. “So I read your latest article on de-manufacturing and primarization in Latin America. It was fantastic.”

“Thank you!” Kara said, throwing a worried glance over her shoulder at Mxy and Mike. “It wasn’t my usual subject matter but the topic is quickly becoming a global issue.”

Once out of earshot from the men, Lena got straight to the point. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mike is acting exactly how you acted when I first introduced Mxy. Do you know him?”

“Of course not!” Kara fidgeted with her glasses. “Mike just takes a long time to warm up to people. He had a troubled childhood.”

Lena couldn’t believe how horrible the event had started. Kara was lying to her, very badly at that. She knew her chance to learn the truth would require some old-fashioned Luthor cunning. Mxy was a slippery fish, Mike was an unknown, and Kara was unwilling to cooperate.

“I need to use the bathroom,” She told Kara and rounded the table before the older woman responded. Lena disappeared into a crowd in front of a dolphin water tank. She circled back to Mxy and Mike, who stood side by side like statues created by competing artists. She hid behind a hammerhead shark model a couple of feet from their location. She pretended to examine its features while eavesdropping on their conversation.

Mike sipped his drink. “The sight of you always makes me sick.”

Mxy scowled, inspecting Mike from head to toe. “Why don’t you do something useful with your life, like move to Thailand to film jean commercials?”

“If you’re here for Kara let me give you a warning,” Mike pointed menacingly at Mxy’s face. “I will send you back to the fifth dimension in a heartbeat.”

“First, your cologne smells repulsive. Did you want to smell like an infested pool that hasn’t been drained in three months? Second, get your finger out of my face before I turn it into a lion that will eat your face.” Mxy mirrored Mike’s aggressive pose, leaning into his personal space. “Third, you didn’t send me anywhere. Supergirl did.” He smiled, but it was more menacing than sardonic. “Shouldn’t you be behind the counter making drinks for the guests?”

“She despises you.”

“I’ve got a Plan B. And she’s pretty spectacular.”

“Good to know Kara means so little to you that you already have a replacement in mind.”

“Oh, you pompous idiot. My Plan B is going to steal your girlfriend right in front of your eyes.” Mxy winked and walked away, leaving a confused Mike pointing at the air.

Lena couldn’t breathe. Her gown was suddenly unbearably tight. Her lungs froze in a cold downpour of embarrassment and hurt and utter betrayal.

Betrayal.

That was a word she knew well.

Her feet moved without volition. She ran out of the exhibition, past the corals, past the T-Rex and then stopped at the foyer. She couldn’t go outside, where the parasitic media waited to eat and dissect her. She turned toward the Japanese art exhibition in the right wing, hoping to disappear in the shadows of ceramics, textiles and sculptures. She couldn’t be seen right now. An old childish instinct flooded her mind: _Hide. Hide. Hide._

Lena grabbed the hem of her gown and began climbing the steps to the _torii_ style entrance in bright orange. She slipped in her haste and her glittery Jimmy Choo heel tumbled down the steps. Once she regained her balance, Lena glanced over her shoulder… just as Mxy kneeled down and picked up the shoe from the marble floor.

He cradled it in his hands, jerked up his chin and asked, “Where are you going, Cinderella?”

Lena sobbed loudly. The sound startled them both and she clamped a hand over her mouth to smother the rest, but it was physically painful to hold in her frustration. The tears rushed out like a broken dam and she curled into herself, her other hand wrapping around her torso and pushing down on her stomach harshly. Nothing helped. She couldn’t stop shaking. She couldn’t stop crying.

Mxy climbed the steps slowly, almost cautiously. His eyes softened, no longer playfully derisive or indecently straightforward. He stopped three steps under her, kneeled again and grabbed her naked foot without a word. He slipped the shoe back on and glanced up at her through his gleaming curls.

She kept his gaze and, after a few seconds, let her hand slide off her lips. She didn’t wipe her cheeks or tried to hide the angry scratches on the underside of her jaw, scars from a moment of bitterness and weakness.

She swallowed her next wave of tears and said, “I should fire you.”

He understood. He saw the realization in her eyes, the resignation of her posture.

Mxy catered her to one of his crooked smiles. “I wouldn’t suggest it. I know your social security number, and where you keep your vibrator.”

Lena snorted. It soon became a chuckle, and then a breathless laugh. She gripped her stomach not in pain, but in awe of his sheer brazenness. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her shaky palms and said, “I hate you.” For the first time in a while, there was no fervor behind the words.

He shrugged, stood and put his hands in his pant pockets. “Want to get out of here? My magic carpet is parked in the Japanese art exhibition.”

“Truly?”

“No. But I’ve had my eye on a calligraphy carpet for a while and I can enchant it with a snap of my fingers.”

Mxy extended his right hand toward her. Lena hesitated for a second, and then took it.

 

**_______________**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Lena’s Marchesa [dress](http://assets.vogue.com/photos/56c4f4f61fc12cb83cb3b021/master/pass/_LUC1222.jpg).
> 
> This is Kara’s Oscar de la Renta [dress](https://www.farfetch.com/shopping/women/oscar-de-la-renta-strapless-flared-dress-item-11906837.aspx).
> 
> I hear Mxy does car commercials. In Japan.


	2. Indestructible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mxy exploits a trans-dimensional loophole and returns to earth. Lena hires the universe’s most intense assistant. Kara can’t handle Lena’s troublesome bestie. Cue asteroid heading for earth!

Lena didn’t know how Mxy convinced her to enter _Sunset Lover Bar—_ in the suspicious corner between a drug cartel pawnshop and a lingerie store owned by Vietnamese refugees. The seedy bar only played Bon Jovi and smelled of wet mop.

“Why did we have to come here instead of an upscale club that actually serves a decent Old Fashioned?” Lena whispered, noticing her barstool wobbled unsteadily.

“We’re heartbroken, Lena. We have to drown our sorrows with cheap alcohol like in the movies,” Mxy protested, forehead falling against the wooden counter melodramatically.

Lena rolled her eyes. “There’s enough water in this drink to save a remote Ethiopian village in the middle of a drought.”

“Why aren’t we good enough for her? You’re a billionaire. I’m a god. He’s a bartender. A bartender!” Mxy screeched, three octaves higher than usual.

“Lower your voice. You’ll bring attention to us,” Lena chastised, trying to hide her face in the carpet wrapped like a cloak around her torso and head. They’d stolen it from the Japanese art exhibit and flown for a good half-hour over National City, until Mxy broke into a tone-deaf rendition of _A Whole New World_ and Lena decided she’d had enough absurdity for one night.

_I need to call the museum director tomorrow before she contacts the FBI to investigate the theft. Another substantial donation will keep her quiet._

Mxy grappled with his black bowtie, voice still too loud. “I’m sure no one recognizes your billboard-plastered face and half the girls in here aren’t fantasizing about sleeping with me. We are the epitome of incognito.”

Lena sighed and took another sip of her awful drink. She wanted to forget everything she’d learned from Mxy (“I exploited a trans-dimensional loophole to get back to earth!” – “Supergirl escaped from a planet called Krypton!” – “Did I tell you Kara has a size seven foot?”) but the alcohol provided was beyond weak.

Lena mumbled to herself in disbelief, “Kara is Supergirl. How could I have been so blind?”

Mxy waved a hand in exasperation. “I watched She’s All That and all he did was take off what’s-her-name’s glasses for the makeover. I thought it was a total over-exaggeration. Then I moved to National City and realized humans are visually impaired.” The bartender stopped in front of Mxy, misinterpreting his gestures as a call-over. “I don’t want to talk to you. I’m expressing my feelings. Shoo!”

The bartender went back to the end of the empty bar while glaring angrily at Mxy.

Lena massaged the sides of her forehead, trying to alleviate her routine midnight migraine. “You’re having a meltdown.”

“I’m emotional, Lena. Comfort me!”

Lena had never comforted anyone in her life, except for Kara. Comforting Kara came naturally to her. Lena lightly patted his shoulder with her fingertips while trying to avoid all other physical contact. “There, there, living nightmare.”

Mxy brought his icy beer to a flushed cheek. “I couldn’t be more perfect. There’s literally nowhere to go up from here. What to do?”

“Have you tried some humility?”

“This is no time for jokes.”

Lena pushed her tumbler glass away and hopped off her stool. “And we’re out.”

She grabbed Mxy by his right forearm with both hands and pulled him toward the door. He complied, dragging his feet slightly. A moment later, his loafers slid on a loose floor tile and he stumbled into her side. He’d had about six beers and an entire bowl of ‘communal’ peanuts. She would have him tested for every known disease on the planet once he was sober.

They were two feet from the exit when Mxy turned back toward the bar counter and said, “Wait a second. I have to ask this bartender what’s so bloody fantastic about bartenders.”

“No, no.” Lena pressed her chest to his back and slipped her arms around his abdomen. She walked backward in a comical shuffle. The feat was equal parts awkward and difficult due to her high heels and Mxy’s bulk. “We have a meeting with the U.S. Senate Committee on Foreign Relations tomorrow at nine to discuss the Amazon… your favorite place in the world.”

“I don’t care that the scarlet macaws are going extinct!” Mxy whined, flailing his arms up and down childishly. She dragged him out of the bar nonetheless.

She propped her assistant against a garbage can and a brick wall, and called her driver with her custom Cartier diamond bracelet and L-Corp Watch hybrid. After a fifteen-minute wait, she shuffled Mxy into the back of the Mercedes and the fiend had the nerve to rest his head on her shoulder. Lena let him, so he’d doze off and she wouldn’t be subjected to another tirade about Mike, or Mon-El as he called him, and his abhorrent personal style.

On a particularly narrow turn, Mxy’s face crept into the nook of her neck and his nose tickled her scalp. He mumbled against her ear, lips brushing the lobe, “You smell like blossoms.”

 

**_______________**

 

Lena awoke in a cocoon of warmth. The sunrise sneaking through her balcony doors bathed her in light and she snuggled into her sheets, silently thanking her overpriced feather mattress. Then the headache hit, followed by the nausea, and a large hand settled on her right breast and squeezed. Lena yelped, leaping off the bed as if scorched by lava. The sheets tangled around her ankles and she crumbled to the floor in a messy heap of pillows.

“You need to work on your coordination in the morning.”

Lena threw the comforter off her head with more force than necessary. Mxy sounded too damn chirpy for her liking. She was disoriented and sick and needed answers. There was a gap in her memory between arriving in her apartment with a drunken alien and waking up in his embrace. Her eyes landed on the man on her bed and she choked on her next words.

Mxy lay sideways on her bed, chin propped up on his hand and legs stretched out. Lena watched, sickly transfixed, as he trailed a hand down the angled plane of his stomach. Before it disappeared under the sheets over his thighs, he swept it out in a grandiose flourish, as if presenting his beauty to the world. That snapped her attention from his tanned abdominal muscles to his twinkling eyes.

Lena grabbed a pillow at her feet, fluffed it into a nice round shape that could cause serious damage and demanded, “I will suffocate you with this pillow if you don’t start talking.” Her voice was groggy and hoarse, the signs of someone who spent the early hours of the morning singing karaoke. She glanced down at her body and froze. “Why am I wearing La Perla underwear?”

It was one of her special date looks: a black bodysuit with narrow nude tulle inserts, low neckline and sheer sleeves embroidered with flower motifs. She even had the neoprene suspender straps on with mid-thigh pantyhose.

“We had a modeling competition last night in your hallway.” He pointed to a corner of the room. “That chair over there was Tyra Banks and she crowned me victorious. No take backs.”

Lena hadn’t noticed she’d stopped breathing until she exhaled in a relieved rush. “Oh thank god. So we didn’t… you and I…”

“Oh Lena, I didn’t know you harbored feelings for me. Unfortunately, my heart already belongs to Supergirl.” His tone was beyond mocking, lips twitching in a failed attempt to keep a straight face.

She flung her index finger down at him with as much authority as she could muster, while half-nude and suffering from temporary amnesia. “What did we do last night?”

“We decided to get wasted on your expensive wine collection. By the way that 1907 Heidsieck was very nice, good year.”

“How did you convince me to do that?”

“I think that voicemail by Kara where she said she was disappointed you left the ball early, but she understood if you had an emergency, was the catalyst.”

“What voicemail? Where’s my phone? Why are you lying there pretentiously instead of finding my phone?”

Mxy studied a point over her shoulder and his smile widened. “Lena, my love, it appears we have company.”

“I don’t have time to play your games.”

Lena heard the distinct sound of her balcony door sliding open. She swiveled around in time to watch Supergirl step into her bedroom. Her guest stayed in front of the glass panel, expression fierce yet professional.

“Miss Luthor, I’m sorry if I’m interrupting.” Despite the formality of the statement, her voice was colored with disapproval and condemnation. It was in the way she held the ‘sorry’ for a second too long and pronounced ‘interrupting’ like the name of a flesh eating disease.

_Why is this my life?_ Lena damned Mxy to whatever inter-dimensional hell he spawned inside and tucked the loose strands around her face behind her ears nervously. As a response, she only managed a weak, “Hi.”

Her voice even cracked in the delivery.

Supergirl tore her eyes from Lena’s blushing face to look at Mxy, who stretched on the bed like a man used to its softness.

Lena knew what this looked like. She was in swanky lingerie, Mxy was shirtless (potentially completely naked under the sheets, actually), and the trashed room was a replica of rockstar’s suite after a cocaine binge. She’d had the wildest night of her life, but not how Kara imagined it…

“I’m here on National City business. An urgent matter has been brought to my attention.”

Lena held the pillow in front of her chest to preserve some of her modesty. “How can I be of help?”

“Actually, I’m here to speak with Mxy,” Supergirl revealed.

Mxy sat up on the bed faster than a bolting cheetah. “Oh?”

Supergirl frowned, hands bunched into fists at her sides. “There is an asteroid heading for earth.”

Lena’s jaw dropped.

Mxy immediately sat back down and dragged the sheets up to his chin. “I have no idea what this is about.”

Supergirl continued, “It has your name on it.”

“My name is not as uncommon as you think.” Mxy threw his hands up in the air in a what-do-you-want-me-to-do manner. “I drank a lot last night. I got a little crazy. Zip, zap! I started flexing my magical powers.” When Supergirl didn’t stop glaring his way, he added, “Also, Lena totally encouraged my bad behavior.”

Lena smacked him across the face with the pillow. “You can make asteroids?!”

“You dared me to! You called me an overdressed David Blaine impersonator.”

“So you’re really a god? I thought you were just an egomaniac.”

“He’s that too,” Supergirl interrupted, crossing her arms and walking further into the room. She stopped at the foot of the bed, glancing between them with a conflicted expression. “I am disappointed in both of you. This is a very dangerous situation, not just for National City but the world.”

“I can help,” Mxy insisted, softly petting the cheek Lena had smacked.

Supergirl stared at him for a long moment and then said, “No. You’ve caused enough trouble. Stay out of my way.” Her eyes flicked to Lena to indicate the statement applied to her as well. “I will handle this as promptly as possible. And I’ll start by lasering your name off that asteroid’s surface.”

Lena was certain she was doing a pathetic job at disguising her hurt. Kara had dismissed her help before she’d officially offered it! Lena wondered what had played the bigger role in the decision: the fact that she was human or her part in the asteroid’s creation. She wanted to claim any excuse to explain her behavior to Kara—but ‘I was having a mental breakdown because I love you’ would only make everything worse.

At the glass doors, Supergirl turned one last time and said, “Be careful, Lena.”

She meant with Mxy. It was plain and clear. Lena nodded, biting the inside of her cheek. She made sure Supergirl had disappeared into the distance before bringing the pillow to her face and screaming into it.

 

**_______________**

 

Supergirl fell from the sky in a fiery inferno.

And Lena watched it live from her office on a high-definition television.

Mxy loudly slurped his toasted coconut cold brew through a straw while perched on the desk beside her. “That can’t be good. I guess my asteroid fights back against magic and supernatural powers.”

The screen switched to a concerned announcer in a brightly lit studio. The man explained, “It appears Supergirl’s attempts at destroying the asteroid have failed.”

Lena snatched the plastic cup out of Mxy’s hand and accused, “You made an asteroid with self-defense awareness.”

“I know. I’m brilliant.”

Lena swung her hip into Mxy’s and scooted him off her desk in one move. “I’ll deal with you, later. We need to leave now to be on time for the meeting.”

They headed for the elevator in unison, grabbing phones and leather briefcases along the way. Lena pressed the summoning button and brushed off some lint from her one-shoulder draped crepe jumpsuit. The draped overlay over her shoulder flowed behind her like a cape. It was a conscious decision. _I need to feel mighty super to pull this off._

Saving the Amazon was going to require a miracle.

She ran a hand through her loose hair in an attempt to style it. “What’s the status of the April projects?”

Mxy put on a slim fit blazer while entering the elevator with her. Once he’d adjusted the lapels, he answered, “The L-Corp Speak real-time translation service added Portuguese as its fifteenth language. The solar panel farm in Vienna is ready for operation so I’ve scheduled an in-person visit for next week. Also, our favorite manned bipedal robot, Kandy Ho, is in its final stages of completion.”

“I never said you could name it that.”

“I named it after a really nice drag queen I met at Nordstrom.”

“What was option two?”

“Rebecca Glasscock.”

“Never mind.”

“You also have that TED Talk about the Quantum Computing Technology Revolution tomorrow at nine. Though only a bunch of geeks would shuffle into an auditorium on a Friday night to hear about the superposition phenomenon. Don’t accept any drink offers afterward, unless you’re willing to squeeze through a narrow bathroom window to escape.”

“That was oddly specific.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“We should regroup about the Highlander Missile project after my speech.”

“Nope. Can’t. I’m going to a Rihanna concert.” When he noticed her surprise expression, he added, “I have a life outside of work. You should try getting one, Lena.”

He’d been saying her first name too often. It unnerved her how comfortable he felt around her. Like they’d known each other their whole lives instead of a month.

_Cheeky bastard._

Mxy opened his briefcase and passed her a newspaper. “This morning’s news.”

Lena accepted the paper with an appreciative nod. She spotted the main headline instantly—it was actually larger than usual. Big fat font screamed _‘Forbidden Attraction: Lena Luthor Disregards Xenophobic Lineage and Romances Extraterrestrial.’_

The featured picture was of her and Mxy at the National City Alien Welcoming Ball red carpet. She leaned into him as he waved at the crowd, his hand wrapped around her waist. She didn’t even remember that happening.

The accompanying mini excerpt twisted the dread in her stomach to fury. She read aloud, “An insider revealed that Lena met Mxy outside her favorite bookstore… when he offered her his coat during a rainstorm…” She looked up slowly at Mxy, who wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “ _You_ …”

The elevator lurched to a sudden stop.

Mxy took a step back from her and repeatedly pressed the open-door button. “I think we’re stuck.”

Lena twisted the newspaper in her hands, pretending it was Mxy’s neck. “Good. I’m going to need time to dismember you.”

Mxy laughed nervously, pounding on the button with his fist. “If you gave me a moment to explain, I’m certain you will agree with my strategic decision. Besides, we can’t be late to our meeting.”

Almost like it heard him, the lift started moving again, only upward, back to the penthouse.

“That’s odd,” Mxy commented, scratching his head.

Lena advanced toward him. She’d just flung her arm into the air, ready to smack him in the head with the rolled newspaper, when the doors opened.

Guns cocked in warning.

Lena stilled like a portrait. She didn’t need to turn around to understand that a small armada had guns pointed at her. Red laser dots covered every inch of her skin.

**_______________**

Someone removed the dusty sack over Lena’s head.

She squinted to take in her surroundings in the poor lighting. She resided inside a warehouse of some kind, probably a textile factor if the shuttle loom to her right wasn’t simply a stolen export. Mxy sat across her, gagged with tape and tied to an identical steel chair.

A man appeared out of the shadows and stood next to Mxy. He wore an ugly clown mask and held a Beretta 92 pistol. Lena knew guns. She was a Luthor, after all.

The mask muffled his voice but she still understood him perfectly. He demanded, “Tell us the password to your main security interface or your boy toy dies.” He ripped the tape off Mxy’s mouth. “Plead for your life, alien scum.”

Mxy stretched his jaw, clearly in pain. Once the insult registered in his mind, he pouted. He argued, “She loves me for my brains, not my body.”

The kidnapper ignored his declaration, stepped toward Lena and removed her tape as well.

She shook hair out of her face and replied, “Do it.”

The kidnapper tilted his head in confusion. “Do what?”

“Shoot him! Multiple times. He might be immortal. You can never be too sure.”

“I don’t understand why you’re upset with me,” Mxy said in a crestfallen tone, shoulders sagging.

“Kara literally thinks I’m sleeping with the enemy.”

“That movie was lackluster.”

“And now you have me doing your crazy film talk.”

The kidnapper motioned between them with his gun. “I don’t have time for this lovers’ quarrel.”

“Aren’t you a god?” Lena spat at Mxy, ignoring the man with the gun who could end her life. She struggled against the ropes. “Why aren’t you doing something about this?”

“I wanted our kidnappers to take us back to their lair and reveal their totally evil motives. But you kind of ruined it,” Mxy admitted, flexing his arms and ripping his way out of the ties effortlessly. He grabbed the legs of the chair and flung it at their kidnapper before the man could redirect the gun in his direction. The kidnapper flew ten feet into the nearest wall as if a boulder had struck him.

Mxy lifted the shuttle loom next, and somehow balanced the giant thing in one hand to point at her with the other. “Stay there. Don’t move.”

Lena’s head fell back in exasperation. “You’re hilarious.”

The door to their room burst open and Mxy sent the loom careening through the doorway. Screams and pained grunts followed. Mxy entered the adjacent room and a chorus of gunshots echoed. If the groaning machinery sounds were any indication, he was throwing half the factory at the kidnappers.

Lena wanted to scream. She didn’t know for certain if Mxy was immortal. He could just be a reckless idiot with impeccable hair. The wave of concern, fear and hope that washed over her mind startled her into an irrational stupor. _I have to stop worrying. He has to be bulletproof._ _He insists on climbing my residential high-rise instead of using the elevator._

Nevertheless, the harsh pounding of her heart didn’t slow until Mxy appeared in the doorway again. He wasn’t bloody, or haggard, or even sweaty. In fact, he looked better than when he left. He seemed to sense her stare because he explained, “There was a bathroom in the other room and I used it to freshen up a bit.”

Lena closed her eyes and counted to ten, mostly to stop herself from having an aneurysm. She ordered, “Untie me.”

He whisked his fingers her way and the ropes came undone in a lovely whirl. Lena stood and approached Mxy in the center of the room. “Let’s get answers.”

Mxy dragged the first kidnapper back to the only available light bulb and held him up in the air by the collar of his sweater. “Start talking.”

The man’s clown mask had fallen off, revealing an unimpressive and bloodied face. He began, “I work for… a very dangerous group…”

Mxy nodded impatiently, pressing for a faster summary. “Cadmus, right?”

“What? No… the Peruvian mafia isn’t happy that a Luthor is getting involved in the Amazon.”

Mxy quickly punched the kidnapper in the face and knocked him out cold. He let the man fall to the floor ungracefully and said, “This guy clearly knew nothing. Looks like we’ll never solve this mystery.”

Lena dug the pads of her fingers into her eyes. “Your big mouth is going to get me killed.”

 

**_______________**

 

Even in the dead of night, Lena found no peace. She fumbled blindly for the vibrating nuisance on her nightstand. Once in hand, she brought the phone to her ear without even checking the caller. “Yes?”

“Did you know Bruce Willis was dead all along?”

Lena wiped her glassy eyes clumsily, half-asleep but distrustful of the darkness in her bedroom. “Who?”

“The ending of The Sixth Sense has blown my mind!”

Lena moved the phone closer to her face to check the time. “It’s three in the morning.”

Mxy was not deterred. “I should have seen it when his wife ignored him during the dinner scene but—”

“Darth Vader is Luke’s father at the end of Empire Strikes Back.”

Mxy took a loud intake of breath. “You ruined it!”

“Call me again at this obscene hour and I will reveal more movie endings,” Lena warned and ended the call with a huff. She stuffed the phone under her pillow. She had just gotten comfortable again when a noise near her balcony startled her awake. She didn’t bother raising her head from the pillow. “Get out of my apartment, Mxy!”

“Lena?”

The voice was distinctively female.

Lena immediately palmed her breasts, desperately trying to remember what she wore to bed after her exhausting two-hour conference call with Bill Gates. _A faded jumper and pajama pants. Oh thank god._ At least she was decently dressed during Supergirl’s second outburst into her bedroom.

Lena sat up in the middle of the bed and and crossed her legs. She didn’t trust herself enough to walk during this confrontation.

Supergirl stood next to the makeup table across her bed. Her profile was partially illuminated by the skyscraper lights of downtown. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Lena placed her hands on her knees. She’d accidently recreated a meditation pose in her desperate attempt to seem totally at ease. As an extra precaution, she cleared her throat. “It’s alright,” she waited a few seconds and then said, “Kara.”

Kara’s eyes widened in shock. “You know.”

Lena shrugged. “Mxy told me.”

Kara strode forward with intent. “Mxy is dangerous. He’s using you to get to me. I’m afraid he’ll hurt you to get his way. It wouldn’t be the first time he resorts to violent means.”

“I know.”

This time, Kara appeared downright scandalized. “What?”

“I can’t lie. I fantasize about setting him on fire on a regular bases but he’s also an amazing assistant.” Lena smiled, self-consciously tugging on her ear. “Like you said, he’s terrifyingly efficient at getting what he wants.”

“Are you together?” Kara blurted. “I read the newspaper this morning and saw the pictures of the two of you on trips.”

Lena should have denied it instantly. She should have made a dramatic declaration damning Mxy to the fifth dimension he escaped. But Kara’s concerned gaze prompted her to respond, “It’s complicated. We’re… complicated.”

“Oh.”

_What the hell am I doing?_ Lena picked at her pajama pants with her nails. “I think between you and I, we can keep him out of trouble.”

“That’s actually why I’m here,” Kara confessed, seeming to shake herself out of a strange thought. “I need your help, Lena.”

Lena was suddenly breathless. “Anything…”

 

**_______________**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Lena’s La Perla Neoprene Desire [bodysuit with suspender straps](http://www.laperla.com/us/uscfilpd906476-nr0002.html).
> 
> And her [Co. Jumpsuit](https://www.lyst.com/clothing/co-one-shoulder-draped-crepe-jumpsuit/).
> 
> Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by Mxy.


	3. Criminal Intent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mxy exploits a trans-dimensional loophole and returns to earth. Lena hires the universe’s most intense assistant. Kara can’t handle Lena’s troublesome bestie. Cue asteroid heading for earth!

Lena took off her Fendi cat-eye sunglasses and bit a tip, bright eyes studying the conference room. The round room had a long black table in the middle with a hologram board near its head. Truthfully, she expected more from D.E.O. National City Headquarters, but it would do.

Rancid Milk Breath trailed after her into the room. The guard had received the devastating nickname after introducing himself to Mxy in the lobby of the high-rise. Mxy had feigned a mild faint against her shoulder and Lena pinched his elbow to save herself the embarrassment.

The guard switched on the LED chandelier on the ceiling and revealed, “The director will be with you shortly.”

As soon as he closed the door, Lena dragged Mxy to two of the chairs on the left side of the table. She asked in a rushed whisper, “What’s the plan?”

“Okay, here I go. Keep an open mind. I throw Mon-El into a black hole and then—”

“No.”                               

“You didn’t even let me finish!”

“Oh, there’s more to your murder plot?”

“Of course.”               

“No.” Lena anxiously played with the magic cut ring of blue topaz and diamonds on her finger. “Here’s the real plan. We give pageant queen smiles. You formally introduce yourself to everyone, and then keep quiet while resisting the urge to hurt Mon-El. Any questions?”

Mxy adjusted the onyx cufflinks of his white dress shirt. He looked ready to walk down a runway in New York with his pointy shoes and pointless pout. Without even glancing her way, he said, “The one-month anniversary ring I bought you matches your beautiful eyes. I have exquisite taste.”

Lena glanced down at her happy-birthday-to-myself ring for an instant before accusing, “We’re already drowning in lies and you want to add another bucket to this ocean?”

Mxy groaned in feigned dramatics. “But we’re just so, so, so complicated.”

Lena froze, eyes narrowing and hot fury coiling around her stomach. _Keep your composure. You parents didn’t waste thousands of dollars on courtesy classes for you to throw it all away for one, highly satisfying, murder._

Lena rotated her chair slowly with awe-inspiring grace. She sharply dug a fingernail into his chest and said in a sugary tone, “If you eavesdrop on another conversation of mine, not even Supergirl is going to be able to stop me from kicking your ass.”

Mxy’s eyebrows shot to mid-forehead. “You just cursed.”

“You’re a horrible influence.”

He smirked. “I liked it.” A few seconds after they resumed an awkward silence, he added, “And disclaimer, I overheard the conversation because you didn’t turn off your phone correctly.”

“Oh.” _Great, I feel like a jerk._

“Also, I swear I heard some _vibrating_ … toward the end…”

Lena smacked his shoulder with her leather clutch, and then brought the accessory up to hide her blush. Mxy’s maniacal laughter prompted another smack and the trickster god retaliated by poking her ticklish sides. He leaned closer to brush her waist and Lena giggled and gasped like a little girl. “Your stubble is tickling my neck!”

A throat clearing noise interrupted the moment.

Lena immediately slammed her palms into Mxy’s chest and pushed, a little too hard. He crashed into the backrest, lost his balance and reeled backward onto the floor—taking the rolling chair with him. The thud of his fall echoed in the cavernous room.

Lena ignored the accident and stood with a radiant smile, hands clasped in front of her like an eager student.

To her horror, a group of people had passed through the door while she’d been preoccupied with Mxy’s nonsense. She recognized most of the faces: Alex, Kara’s sister, and Winn, who spilled champagne on her once, and Maggie, who arrested her, and Mon-El, public enemy #1, and Kara in the center, arms crossed over her chest and gaze rooted to the floor.

Mxy made his reemergence as dramatic as possible, taking shallow breaths and unnecessarily clawing at the table for support. “Darling, I’m still sore after this morning. Do you think you could take it easy on me?”

_Just keep smiling, Lena. You once glared down the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia._

She walked around the table and toward the group, her arm extended in greeting. She chose the easiest target for her introduction. “Hello, you must be Director J’onn. Kara has told me so much about you.”

The oldest man in the group accepted her hand, but did not return her smile. “Miss Luthor, thank you for attending this emergency meeting.”

She assured, “It’s not trouble at all. I am happy to be of assistance during these troubling times.”

Lena had dressed to intimidate in a stretched-crepe mini dress by Stella McCartney. The asymmetrical drape over one thigh reminded her of a bloody waterfall. She’d wanted to appear confident and absolutely essential in this crisis. After all, asteroid-making accomplice liability was a rather serious crime…

Although her wardrobe message undoubtedly spelled ‘I am not hiding’ and she was the most vibrant person in the room, Kara _still_ refused to glance her way.

Lena felt a rush of air behind her, which meant that Mxy had hastily relocated via transportation. She reached behind her and grabbed his tie—he was like an arrogant Chihuahua just waiting for the right moment to bark at Mon-El. “And may I introduce Mxy, from the fifth dimension.”

Mxy stepped forward. “I’m 5’ ll and not at your service.”

As expected, Mon-El just had to comment on that. “You’re being difficult? How unprecedented.”

Mxy played with Lena’s ponytail, winding it around his index finger. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to pay attention but your rubbery hiking boots are screaming at me. When is your trip to the Himalayas so I can discretely cause an avalanche?”

Lena interrupted, “Mxy, you said you would be nice.”

“I promised no such thing!” He shot back.

“I believe you know everyone, except for James,” J’onn moved on quickly, refusing to acknowledge the foolish argument.

For his part, James only nodded in her direction.

Lena waved, lips quirking in an awkward line.

J’onn got straight to the point. “The asteroid is going to hit Earth in 18 days. I think we should start the meeting by reviewing past failures and discussing some top-of-mind strategies. Kara, please go first.”

Kara jumped at the mention of her name, as if she’d awoken from a daydream. “Oh yes, of course.”

Kara approached the board as everyone else took their seats. Lena noticed that the group sat on the right side of the table, leaving her and Mxy on the left. She felt like she was on trial already.

Kara wrote a few attack options on the board with a pen and sent a rotating blue hologram of the asteroid toward the center of the table. She explained, “The asteroid has deflection and shield abilities. It primarily fights back by conjuring magnetic fields and meteor showers. Also, it’s proven to be an intelligent life form that can copy attack moves—”

“It’s simpler than that. It makes portals that redirect attacks.” Mxy had stolen a bunch of pens from a mug and begun piling them onto each other, chin on the table for a better stacking angle. “Also, I love your pastel look, darling. It is very 1970s chic.”

Kara self-consciously plucked at her beige pink button-up and flared skirt. Lena could tell from the casual clothes that she was probably on her ‘day off.’ And she had to spend it in an office discussing a flaming rock heading for the planet.

Maggie addressed Mxy, “Can’t you destroy the asteroid with a clap of your hands?”

“That’s not how my powers work,” Mxy spat, insulted. “Besides, the asteroid has been designed to recognize, evade and immediately eliminate beings with superior strength and supernatural abilities that just _approach_ it. It’s more paranoid than a shop owner when Mon-El walks past his jean store.”

Mon-El threw a paper ball at Mxy’s chest. “That joke doesn’t even make sense!”

“It’s because you’re going to rob the place!”

“What about a laser from Earth?” Winn piped up, his eyes landing on Lena.

_Do I look like Dr. Evil to you?_ Lena bit her tongue. “L-Corp doesn’t have that.”

“It wouldn’t work either way,” Mxy said dismissively. “It was on the list.”

The skin on the back of Lena’s neck prickled with fear. She didn’t know what he meant, but her instincts told her it wasn’t good news.

Mon-El leaned forward. “What list?”

“Lena and I spent an hour on her bedroom floor with her pad discussing the different ways the asteroid could be attacked, and the perfect countermeasures it could deploy to avoid damage.”

The pen stack crumbled. Mxy cursed under his breath and started building it again.

“So you made an invincible space weapon?”

“Basically.”

Underneath the table, Lena squashed the toes of Mxy’s right foot with her Versace heel. It didn’t matter that she literally had Medusa as an accent on her toes. Every time Mxy opened his mouth, the pit she’d fallen into just got deeper and deeper.

Mxy continued his little game, unbothered.

Everyone stared at Lena incredulously. She was overcome by the impulse to rearrange her clutch, sunglasses and pad methodically on the table, over and over again.

_There has to be a way to kill a god without leaving any evidence._

Kara cleared her throat and asked, “Since Mxy knows the way this asteroid thinks, does anyone want to throw out a radical idea to build upon?”

Mxy raised his hand and immediately spoke without being called upon. “What if NASA trained a group of oil drillers to become astronauts so they can dig a bomb into—”

Lena clamped a hand over his mouth. “Do you ever think before you speak?”

Mon-El glanced between them, confused. “Why did you stop him? That actually sounded like a pretty good idea.”

“No, no, I am 100 percent done with everybody in this room.” Maggie threw her arms up in frustration. “I have come to accept that aliens exist, and also different gods, but I am drawing the line at Michael Bay saving this planet.”

“Any other ideas?” Alex asked, motioning with a wave around the room.

There was silence for a long time. Winn seemed to be doing calculations in midair with his finger, mumbling under his breath. James glared at Lena, who stared at Kara, who looked everywhere except at Lena’s face.

Mxy cleared his throat before raising his hand, slower this time.

Lena let her head fall into her hands. “God, damn it.”

Mxy smiled. “At your command, Lena dearest.”

“Yes, Mxy?” Kara prompted, singling him out with the pen.

“This is going to take some time. Six back and relax.” Mxy snapped his fingers and Chinese takeout appeared on the table in a ghostly blue fog. Lena recognized boxes of fried rice, hot and sour soup, egg rolls, steamed dumplings, crab rangoon puffs, tossed noodles, and various other dishes. The smell of fried food immediately drowned out the disinfectant aroma of the furniture.

Mxy popped a shrimp into his mouth and stood. He grabbed Kara’s shoulders and lightly pushed her toward his vacant seat. Kara sat next to Lena hesitantly. She grabbed a plastic cup of green tea and nibbled on the straw while Mxy erased the board.

Mxy opened a large screen with a picture of Ben Affleck and began, “The movie starts with a massive meteor shower destroying the Space Shuttle Atlantis…”

By the time Mxy was done with his dramatic reenactment of Armageddon, the team had finished their lunch and the board had five different plot holes the movie never addressed (courtesy of Maggie).

“And they twirl over the beautiful picnic at sunset and Aerosmith plays in the background. And then the credits roll up and I wipe the tears form my eyes.” Mxy finished, sniffling.

Lena rolled her eyes and slurped up more noodles with her chopsticks. Everyone had become visibly calmer thanks to their full stomachs. The food was fantastic. After all, Mxy transferred dishes from her favorite Chinese-buffet-combination-hair-salon. She hoped he hadn’t stolen it from the kitchens, or worse, paying customers. She would get the answer from him after the meeting.

“Get this!” Mon-El said to no one in particular while glancing at his iPhone screen. “Bruce Willis didn’t like Michael Bay’s directing style and never worked with him again.”

“Are you looking up movie trivia on your phone?” J’onn asked in a judgmental tone.

“No,” Mon-El answered, quickly hiding his phone underneath the table.

J’onn tried to reorient the meeting. “What have we learned?”

“Other than the fact that I am never watching that atrocious movie,” Maggie added under her breath, sucking her tea straw loudly.

Alex shared her thoughts. “I think thermonuclear detonation is our best option. But this asteroid is massive. We’ll need more than one bomb to blow it up.”

“Or just one really big one,” Lena picked up, playing with her ring again. “One of my teams is working on something called the Highlander Missile.”

Kara spoke up suddenly, “I thought L-Corp didn’t specialize in weapons technology anymore.”

It was the first time she’d addressed Lena the whole day. And Lena didn’t miss the worry in her tone. _Do you doubt me?_ Lena hadn’t forgotten that Kara never trusted her enough to reveal her double identity. But Lena had hoped the secret’s revelation would give them a chance to grow closer. The opposite seemed to be happening.

“We don’t,” Lena assured, holding Kara’s gaze intensely. “It was a project started by my brother. I decided to repurpose it to facilitate space exploration. It’s a unique kind of bomb. We planned to use it to experiment with the Van Allen belt.”

Mon-El asked, “Why?”

She replied, “That’s classified.”

“Seriously?”

Lena glared. “Yes.”

“We have clearance from the U.S. government to pursue this experiment,” Mxy clarified, glaring even harder Mon-El’s way.

Mon-El scoffed, “The crazy inter-dimensional god has access to a nuclear bomb.”

Mxy turned pleading eyes on Lena. “Please let me throw this idiot into a black hole.”

“Why are we so certain this will work?” Winn asked, following everyone else’s lead and completely ignoring Mxy and Mon-El’s hissy fit.

Mxy plumped down onto the empty chair beside Kara and explained, “It’s not on the list. I started talking about the movie and Lena fell asleep and we ended up never adding it.”

“That’s the most normal thing you’ve said all day.”

Lena offered, “I have a laser-powered spaceship we can use as well. It’s from a new galactic travel line L-Corp will launch later this year.”

J’onn sighed. “That could be problematic.”

Lena raised a skeptical brow. “Although it’s not finished, my team has assured me the ship is ready for a test drive.” She shuffled through some notes passed to the group in the beginning. “If these calculations are correct, my ship can get us to the asteroid in about 72 hours if we leave tomorrow. Since neither Kara nor Mxy can approach the asteroid, it is our quickest option.”

J’onn continued, “I wasn’t voicing concerns about the quality of your ship, Miss Luthor. I am worried about these ambitious galactic travel plans.”

Lena smiled. “Human exploration of the galaxy is the next logical step after the validation of extraterrestrial existence. As a Luthor, I only look forward.”

“Yeah, your family is real ambitious.” Mon-El crushed another paper ball in his hand that he planned to throw at Mxy. “Let me guess, your ship is called the Death Star.”

“Mon-El, that’s enough,” Kara spoke up. “The Earth is in danger of being obliterated. Do you think you can save your smart ass comments for another time?”

Mxy snorted. Surprisingly, it was the only verbal reaction he made. He, like everyone else in the room, was shocked into silence.

Mon-El did not hide his annoyance with Kara’s accusatory tone, but he still flung the paper ball at Mxy in retaliation. Mxy didn’t even seem to notice the thing bounced off his forehead. Lena hadn’t seen him this happy since he found out Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar.

Lena’s heart raced. She was infinitely grateful for Kara’s interference. She had disregarded Mon-El’s snarky tone and thinly veiled contempt throughout the entire meeting. And although she had a few choice words in mind to hurl his way, she had to appear professional while representing the Luthor name. She wouldn’t allow her reputation to be ruined by one moment of thoughtless rage.

Underneath the table, Kara’s fingertips slid over Lena’s cold wrist. Then, they spread over her palm and their hands intertwined. It felt right. Safe. As if Kara was telling her that everything would be okay, secretly.

Lena was afraid even tilting her head in Kara’s direction would make her friend retract her hand. Nonetheless, she smiled. Feeling immensely braver.

“Mon-El,” Lena started, for the first time referring to him by his true name. “I understand your mistrust. My family has caused a lot of damage in the past but I am committed to rectifying those mistakes. Mxy is…” Mxy opened his mouth to cut her off but he stopped when he saw the fierceness in her eyes. “…Mxy is not from this planet and a rambunctious god with an insatiable ego. But he is here, working with us to find a solution to this _accidental_ problem. I will do everything I can during this mission and we will stop this asteroid, together.”

Kara interrupted, “You’re not going.”

Lena shut her mouth, jaw painfully locking as her teeth clenched.

“That is unfair!” Mxy argued, smashing his fist on the table. “It’s her ship and her bomb. She should be allowed to go!”

_I’m going to give this rat-brained cinnamon bun a raise…_

“It isn’t safe for Lena,” Kara clarified, putting up a palm in a halting gesture. “Every other human and alien in this room has worked with D.E.O. either full time or in special missions. We will be the ship crew and assume all responsibility for the bomb detonation. I will lead the mission to a certain distance in space to make sure no harm comes to the team. Once I leave the ship, J’onn can be the captain.”

Kara’s grip became hard, desperate. She was wordlessly asking, ‘Please don’t argue with me.’

Mon-El added, “You shouldn’t even be debating this. We wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place if it weren’t for you and Lena.”

Mxy spat back, “Then why the hell are you going? You’re the most useless thing here!”

Mon-El lunged forward and Mxy did the same. Kara sped to the other side of the table, grabbed Mon-El by the shoulders and pushed him back onto his seat. Lena did the same with Mxy beside her. In the aftermath, both women stayed standing, staring at one another awkwardly.

Kara’s super speed had disturbed the papers J’onn distributed earlier. They flew around them in a chaotic whirl.

Lena chewed her bottom lip. “Good luck.”

Kara nodded, expression neutral under the stares of the group.

“Oh, come on,” Mxy grumbled under his breath, hiding his head in his folded arms petulantly.

Maggie bumped her shoulder into Alex to get her girlfriend’s attention. When the redhead looked, she shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe we’re saving the world with the rehashed plan of a 1990s movie.”

 

**_______________**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena’s outfit:  
> [Sunglasses](https://www.lyst.com/accessories/fendi-black-cut-out-cat-eye-sunglasses-1/)  
> [Ring](https://www.lyst.com/jewelry/john-hardy-classic-chain-magic-cut-ring-silver-10x7mm-gems-diamonds-swiss-blue-topaz/)  
> [Purse](https://www.lyst.com/bags/versus-womens-clutch-bag-black-2/)  
> [Dress](https://www.lyst.com/clothing/stella-mccartney-draped-stretch-crepe-mini-dress-red/)  
> [Shoes](https://www.lyst.com/shoes/versace-black-medusa-pumps/)
> 
> Kara’s outfit:  
> [Top](https://www.lyst.com/clothing/vila-top-pink/)  
> [Skirt](https://www.lyst.com/clothing/hm-flared-skirt/)
> 
> You can’t sit with us!


	4. Hang With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mxy exploits a trans-dimensional loophole and returns to earth. Lena hires the universe’s most intense assistant. Kara can’t handle Lena’s troublesome bestie. Cue asteroid heading for earth!

“Kara will leave with the asteroid crew in two days and Superman is defusing a crisis in Jupiter. Thus, you will be on superhero duty for a week. Any questions?”

Mxy spat out the mocha latte melodramatically. He spurted, “I didn’t sign up for that.”

“You work for me and I am officially making it part of your job description.”

“This is a prime example of abuse of power.”

Lena stopped walking, catering her assistant to a disbelieving glare. “Are you seriously lecturing me about _abuse_ of _power_?”

Mxy took her hand and walked backward toward the stairs, pulling her along with him in the hallway. “Come along my Amazon Champion, we’re running late.”

Lena snatched back her mocha and took a sip after an unwinding roll of her eyes.

For the first time in years, she had overslept. It was probably the three Percocets she took before bed. Her mild anxiety had turned into severe anxiety overnight thanks to two failed business ventures in China and an asteroid. Her migraines felt like tectonic shifts in her brain.

She’d jumped out of bed in a disoriented rush when Mxy called her from the lobby of her high-rise. Lena had reached for the first hanger in her closet: a Hervé Léger bandage dress in gray with bold cutouts. In retrospect, it was too evening elegant for daytime. But she hadn’t even considered that when she threw it on. Mxy had given her a concerned onceover in the Mercedes and handed her a Saint Laurent nude lipstick. He’d explained, “Put it on. It’s enchanted and will add color to your face.”

Although it was noon, the L-Corp Lenax 9 Facility floor remained surprisingly quiet. If Lena hadn’t caught glimpses of experiments through the glass panels of doors, she would have gone on a firing spree.

Mxy fell into step beside her, fingers curling around her palm. The warm touch reminded her of Kara and she asked, “Shouldn’t you be trying to win Kara over with your heroic deeds? This is the perfect opportunity.”

“Supergirl won’t even be on the planet.” Mxy plucked a stray hair off her forehead and curled it behind her ear. “Besides, I’m only interested in dangerous situations involving you and Cadmus. Citizens can call the cops or the fire department. I’m not rescuing cats from burning buildings. It’s already a struggle to maintain an active social life with my highly demanding career.”

Lena allowed him to lead her by the arm through the various hallways. She was relaxed and didn’t want to ruin the miraculous mood.

_Just, let it go. Let it go._ But of course, she couldn’t.

“Who could forget all those long nights spent in your dormitory cramming for tests—or the unpaid internships that ended multiple relationships—or the times you had to choose between getting three hours of sleep before presenting a new project to investors or finding a cure for cancer…”

He made a sharp right and gave her a forced grin. “No one likes a pity party, Lena. I’ll have you know, the pads of my fingers are starting to hurt from snapping them so much to make things happen.”

“It’s so hard being you.”

“Fine. Fine.” Mxy sighed in defeat. “While Supergirl is away, Mxy will save the day.”

“Don’t kill anybody and we’ll call it a successful week.”

The lobby at the end of the hallway had an industrial-sized elevator with three sets of perpendicular doors. The duo shuffled inside and Lena pressed the ground floor button with her thumb. They hadn’t even started to descend when Mxy’s cell phone vibrated in his pant pocket.

Mxy took it out and chuckled under his breath, eyes flashing with delight.

Lena tweaked his ear to get his attention. “Anything I should be notified about?”

Mxy typed away on his phone, the sly smile on his face becoming positively mischievous. “I’m trolling the White House on Twitter with an account I made on behalf of the asteroid. Check out my latest update.”

Mxy held the screen in front of Lena’s eyes before she had a chance to register his words fully. She read:

 

_Regina the Asteroid - @ReginatheAsteroid_

_Bring it on inferior race. #GiveMeMonElAndIWillChangeCourse_

 

“That’s not funny!”

“That’s because it’s hilarious.”

“Delete it at once.”

He reeled back, clutching the phone to his chest like a baby. “Not on your life. I have three million followers already. I’m a hit! No pun intended… but only if the mission fails, of course. Not that I’m saying it will, though I did create an exceptional world-killing machine—”

“You’re rambling.”

“Ugh. It is a disgraceful human custom that is rubbing off on me. I blame Bravo TV.”

A tickling sensation crawled up Lena’s throat. She looked at the number panel over the door to distract herself.

Mxy wiggled his index finger in her direction. “Ah, ah! You think it’s funny.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Your mouth is quirking up and your right eye is twitching.”

“It’s probably a stroke.”

“Nope, don’t think so.” Mxy tilted his face and leaned closer, until his lips ghosted over the side of her jaw. “The veins in your neck are jumping.”

“Damn it.” Lena covered her face with her left hand to smother a bubbly laugh.

It didn’t fool her assistant.

“And she smiles!” Mxy smiled too, fist-bumping the air. “I am good.”

Lena pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to regain some self-control. “Next time, don’t make the FBI start a federal investigation to make me laugh.”

“Nonsense! You’re difficult to predict. I go big, but I will never go home.”

Lena chuckled again, lightly slapping the palm of her hand on her cheek to check her foundation for lines. “Stop it. We have to appear utterly professional.”

“Don’t worry, I got this.”

Kara and the D.E.O. crew waited in the aircraft hanger. Lena saw them as soon as the doors opened. Unfortunately, Mxy chose that moment to sweep his arms out in a dramatic flourish and proclaim, “Welcome to the Batcave!”

Lena pretended to drink from her coffee and whispered under the plastic cup, “Her cousin does not get along with Batman.”

Mxy brought up a palm over his lips in a fake yawn to respond, “The man wears spandex. He should not be judging anyone.”

Lena saw Kara smile. _There’s no way she can hear us all the way from down there._

Mxy noticed her hesitance in replying and said, “Also, Supergirl has super hearing and looks super cute in that space suit. Yes, she does.”

Kara glanced down at her silver boots for an instant in a failed attempt to hide her blush. She’d definitely heard Mxy’s comment. Lena gave Mxy a meaningful stare, a silent message transpiring between them: _Thanks for the heads up._

Lena didn’t notice they still held hands until he walked forward, taking her with him. She immediately disentangled their fingers. The team regrouped next to a round atmospheric probe. Winn poked its chrome-like exterior with childlike curiosity. ~~~~

Unfortunately, Mxy was in a very friendly mood. He walked into the center of the crew and exclaimed, “Rosie Perez! How are you?”

“My name is Maggie.”

“I don’t care.” He walked past her, reached Kara and swept his arm over her shoulders. “Supergirl, it’s so great to see.”

_He is such a lost cause…_

Kara undid his fingers, one by one, from her shoulder. It was similar to watching someone use a wrench to pull out rusty screws from a table. The exchange was rather aggressive. Afterward, she slipped out of his grasp and addressed Lena with a smile, “Thank you for the spacesuits.”

Lena hugged her sides, pushing away her insecurities to return the smile as honestly as she could. Mxy had called her unpredictable, but she was nothing compared to Kara. Lena never knew what she was going to get from her friend recently—a warm embrace or the cold shoulder.

Alex turned in place, appreciating the different spacecrafts in the hanger. “Which one is our ship? As the pilot, I really need to familiarize myself with the controls as soon as possible.”

Mxy fished out his phone again, logged into L-Corp’s interface and pressed an unnecessarily big red button the screen. The wall across the probe began to retract into the roof. A gigantic blue spaceship was stationed on the other side, illuminated by unnecessary strobe lights that Mxy had clearly planted. He announced, “I give you, _Karat Supernova!_ ”

An awkward silence ensued the reveal.

Lena was horrified. She and Mxy named the ship together and then laughed about it over champagne and truffles. She never thought Kara would have use for it. Now, looking back, she regretted the decision greatly.

“I named it myself,” Mxy said, taking the fall singlehandedly.

Lena gave him quick thumbs up from behind everyone’s heads.

Maggie was the first to speak. “ _Super Kara Boner_ would have been more subtle.”

Mxy nodded, considering her suggestion. “I like you, Rosie Perez.”

“I feel indifferent toward you.”

“Ooh,” Mxy crooned, chewing his lip. “This gives me an uncontrollable urge to grovel for your approval.”

“Still don’t care.” Maggie turned away from him and faced the group. “I would like to start a public vote to rename this ship immediately.”

“It’s not up for discussion,” Mxy piped up.

“Raise your hand for _Placeholder Name_.”

“That’s not even a name!”

“And we’ve got five votes right off the bat. So, there you go.”

“ _Placeholder Name_ is impressive. How big is it?” Winn asked Lena.

Mxy put his hands on his hips and blurted angrily, “Let’s just start the tour!”

The ship was impressive. Lena accepted only the best from her creative and construction teams. It was divided into three sections: a round control station, rectangular middle hanger and bridge, and another spherical docking section with four rocket boosters.

Lena took turns with Mxy explaining many of the ship’s features, in case any emergencies arose during the voyage. In the main control room, Lena taught Alex how to engage the main thrusters, atmospheric maneuvering planes, magnetic shield projector, head beam cannon, and turrets.

Mxy enjoyed a different angle of the tour. “Alex, try the combination massage chair and pilot seat!”

When he suggested Kara should try the Jacuzzi in the communal bathroom though, J’onn had to physically hold Mon-El back. After that, Mxy answered everyone’s questions except for Mon-El—who gave up raising his hand and had Winn ask the questions on his behalf.

An hour into the tour, the first accident happened. The group had finished a simulation in one of the side turret rooms, when the automatic door shut rudely in front of Lena’s face as she exited. It bashed the side of her nose. Lena jumped back too late and collided into Kara, who held her up by the forearms.

Kara asked, “Are you alright?”

Lena brought a hand up to her nose and drew it back. Blood smeared her palm. She felt it trickling down onto her top lip as well.

“You’re bleeding!” Kara looked around the room frantically for something to address the injury. The turret room was empty except for the weapon itself and the controller’s seat.

Lena tried to appease her, lightly patting her shoulder with her clean hand. “Kara, don’t worry. I’m sure it looks worse than it feels.”

Without a second thought, Kara unzipped her spacesuit from the back. She bunched it up to her waist, revealing a tight white pullover underneath. She ripped the right sleeve through the elbow, folded the fabric and brought it up to Lena’s nose gently.

Lena stood stock-still. “Your shirt…”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I could have used my dress.”

Kara shook her head in disapproval. “Don’t ruin your dress. It’s nice.”

Mxy’s face appeared in the video intercom next to the door. He was holding Mon-El back with one hand while tapping the screen with the other. “This thing on? Oh, hey you two! We’re having some technical difficulties. Please stay put until we figure out the problem. It could take five minutes to an hour.”

Lena saw the truth in his eyes. They crinkled. Fake concern. _That manipulative flea locked us in here on purpose!_

“Lena is bleeding!” Kara yelled back. “I’m breaking down the door!”

Lena and Mxy screamed simultaneously, “NO!”

Their reasons were vastly different. Lena pleaded, “Please, don’t do that. This is a billion-dollar project. I would rather nothing get damaged prior to takeoff.”

She sounded absolutely ridiculous while pinching her nose with the fabric, like an elf high on helium.

Through the screen, Lena heard Mon-El complain, “Aren’t you a god? Just transport them out of there!” But Mxy cut the transmission short before Lena could hear what he responded.

Kara sighed in exasperation. She switched her attention back to Lena. “Do you need to sit down?”

“I’m fine,” Lena assured again, bunching up the fabric a bit more and pressing it to the side of her nose. It would definitely bruise, but it didn’t feel broken. She was going to have Mxy work a straight 48-hour shift for this, sans Twitter breaks.

Kara looked so guilty, Lena would have suspected _she_ was responsible for the door if Mxy weren’t a public menace. The girl with super powers stared at her as if they’d just met and she didn’t have the slightest clue of what to talk about.

To Lena’s surprise, Kara blurted, “I’m sorry, Lena. I think... actually no…” Kara shook her head and Lena’s fingers twitched with her desire to fix her crooked glasses. “I’m pretty sure that I’ve come off as completely temperamental for the past week.”

Lena’s eyebrows rose on their own accord. “Mmm…”

Kara laughed at her expression. “Yes, pretty sure. The truth is that I needed to look neutral after the asteroid was linked to you and Mxy. Everyone says I have a soft spot for you.”

Lena knew who _everyone_ was.

Kara went on, “But I knew you would come through and help us. I told them that you would never do anything to harm anyone on purpose. And Mxy’s just… well… you’re doing an awesome job with him.”

Lena laughed heartedly for the second time that day. This time, there were literal tears in her ears. But when she snorted, it hurt too much to breathe through her nose and she hissed out in pain.

Kara reached for the sleeve she had left. “Did you need more for your nose?”

“No, no.” Lena held her clothed wrist to stop her from ripping it. “You’ve done enough. And let me remind you, I am partially responsible for this whole mess. An asteroid created by Mxy is heading for earth.”

Kara rolled her eyes in a playful manner. “One asteroid after a full month of Mxy—that’s a miracle! I was literally chasing monsters off the street every 15 minutes the last time he visited.”

Lena shrugged. “He’s trying to be human.”

Kara’s eyes softened. Something about what Lena said triggered a memory because Kara seemed lost in thought for several seconds. Then, she said, “You really bring out the best in people, Lena.”

It came out in an awed whisper, like it was a great revelation. It made Lena feel special. All her life, people had groveled at her feet with ulterior motives. Kara stared at her as if she performed miracles on a daily based solely on the goodness of her heart.

_If I faint, I’m blaming it on the blood loss…_

The door slid back into the wall soundlessly.

Winn waltzed in too proudly and boasted, “I bypassed the main security mainframe in five minutes flat. New record.”

Mxy entered right on his heels. He said through gritted teeth, “Thank you, Winn. Remind me to erect a statue to commemorate your greatness in the near future.”

It sounded more like a threat than praise, so Winn strategically stood beside Kara for the rest of the tour.

 

**_______________**

 

When Mxy showed up at her apartment with a grocery bag and a harmless grin, Lena was immediately suspicious. She swung the door back and forth in her hand, considering the pros and cons of slamming it in his face.

His expression turned weak and apologetic once he noticed her newest physical accessory: a nasal splint hiding her swollen nose. The shift resolved her doubts. She was really developing a weakness for the new god of mischief in her life.

Lena settled a hip on her doorframe and verbalized an observation. “You used the elevator.”

“I got a notice from management asking me to stop scaling the balconies since the tenants are complaining and the doorman fainted last week because he thought I was suicidal.”

“I wish you wouldn’t have shared that explanation.”

Mxy continued, ““I don’t understand the dramatics. I pay rent just like everyone else. But no one prioritizes _my_ needs.”

Lena choked on her own saliva. “You live here?!”

“One floor down. My personal bathroom is nicer than yours. Though, I did remodel.”

“In what time?”

“I would give you the contractor’s number but it was me. And my magic fingers.”

Lena couldn’t believe she considered his random visit acceptable behavior. “To what do I owe the pleasure of being graced with your presence?”

Mxy scratched his cheek sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to slam the door on your perfect nose. I didn’t time that correctly. But if it’s any consolation, I can give you any celebrity’s nose in its place. So long as it is a refined one that matches your high cheekbones, otherwise, I can’t do it with a clear conscience.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Thanks for the offer but I’ll have to decline.”

“I had a feeling you would. So, as a peace offering and to help you relax, I brought other gifts.” He shook the bag draped over his elbow. “I have cookie dough ice cream, double-decker macarons from that French luxury bakery you adore and this!”

The “this” was shoved in her face a little too enthusiastically and hit the tip of her nose. Lena saw stars in silver and gold.

“Oh, crap!” Mxy retracted his arm while cursing profusely.

Lena didn’t let the pain bother her. She reminded herself that she was literally dealing with a god from another dimension who believed Sponge Bob Square Pants was real for three whole days. Also, she was on some really good pain medication. Lena leaned sideways and grabbed the final gift from Mxy’s hand. It was a videogame. On the cover, a character with a trench coat held on to a bloody saw and gun.

“Bloodborne?”

“It’s from the makers of Dark Souls, which is supposed to be good. I don’t know. I don’t play video games that don’t feature Italian-looking men eating mushrooms.”

“How autobiographical.”

“Did you make a joke at my expense?” Mxy sounded genuinely impressed.

“Get inside my apartment before I close the door on your smug face.”

Lena had a new raw materials proposal on her dining room table that needed to be reviewed. On her office desk, she’d left blueprints for a new factory in Tokyo and last month’s financial reports. None of that mattered at the moment because a gigantic sewer rat hunted her in some disorienting tunnels. Not that her death would be particularly surprising. In the past quarter of an hour, she had died a total of 21 times: mangled by decomposing hounds, pecked by monstrous sparrows and stabbed by diseased humans. Lena was a highly proficient strategist who didn’t accept failure. But she’d considered quitting this game more than once already.

_This game is a nightmare. Who plays this for fun?_

Mxy bit his nails beside her on the sofa and hugged a cushion. “Roll! Roll! Dodge! Use a regeneration potion! It’s the blood vial, inject a blood vial!”

“I’m trying! Stop screaming at me!”

Lena was so entranced by the game, she didn’t notice when a strap from her nude pajama romper slid down her shoulder. Mxy hooked a thumb around it and raised it back up.

The rat caught up to Lena’s character and cornered her in a dead-end.

Her cell phone vibrated on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

Lena reached for it while keeping her eyes on the screen. She unlocked it with one hand and crushed it between her ear and shoulder to return her hand to the controller. “Hello—no! Mxy stop it! I’m dying!” Mxy tried to grab the controller out of her hands, unhappy with her counter attack. “I know what I’m doing! You’re killing me! I’m covered in blood!” Lena swatted his arm away with her foot and repeated into the phone, “Hello?”

She heard only dial tone. _Strange._

“What is that?” Mxy asked, spotting an object in the horizon and kneeling on her sofa to get a better view through her balcony doors.

A moment later, said balcony doors shattered to pieces when Supergirl blasted through them. Mxy hid from the debris under a cushion. The temperature in the room dropped immediately due to the cold night air.

Lena didn’t even flinch, let alone notice her new visitor. She leaned sideways in tune with Kara’s strides to keep her eyes on the plasma screen—until Kara blocked the television, pointed an accusing finger at Mxy and yelled, “Get away from her!”

The sewer rat killed Lena because she dropped the controller in shock.

For the second time that day, Lena and Mxy spoke simultaneously. They chorused, “What?”

Kara noticed the relaxed mood in the living room, the opened ice cream tub and Mxy’s flabbergasted expression. Her shoulders deflated and she stuttered, “I c-called and he was a-attacking you!”

“What?” Lena dropped her shoulder and her phone fell onto her lap. Suddenly, she understood Kara’s words. “Oh! OH! No, we’re playing a videogame.”

Mxy pouted. “I’m insulted.”

Lena defended Kara. “It was an honest mistake.”

Kara quickly changed the subject, eyes big like a cat stuck in a tree. “How is your nose?”

“Healing.”

“Good,” Kara said sheepishly. She took an awkward step backward and another glass shard snapped under her red boots. “I am so sorry about your doors! I will pay for the replacements.”

“No, don’t worry.” Lena shook her palms in a desperate stop gesture. “I didn’t even like those doors. I was going to buy new ones.”

“What a coincidence,” Mxy muttered under his breath, sinking a spoon into the tub of ice cream on his lap. He offered, “Won’t you join us?”

Kara tried to straighten one of the doorframes but it crumbled in her hands. “I can’t. I have a lot of things to prepare before takeoff.”

Mxy picked up a macaron from the box on the coffee table and threw it up and down with his left hand. “Oh, come on! You’re going to be in boring space for a while. Might as well have a little fun now.” He threw her the macaron and Kara caught it in her mouth.

Lena couldn’t hold back a girlish cheer.

Kara laughed at her sudden outburst. “Alright. But just for a little bit.” She scratched the side of her head with a nervous titter. “Also, do you own a broom?”

After Kara insisted on sweeping the mess she made and turned on the living room fireplace with her laser eyes, the trio resumed the game.

Lena was dozing off underneath a fleece throw blanket when Mxy’s voice cut through her fuzzy thoughts. “I told you that was the wrong way. The gate is locked!”

“You’re not helping,” Kara responded, moving her controller physically to the right while turning in the game.

“Sprint around the bonfire!”

“They will corner me!”

“Lena, are you seeing this?” Mxy asked in an accusatory tone, glancing at her over his shoulder.

Lena stretched out on the sofa. She had it all to herself. Mxy and Kara had moved to the floor, to be a mere two feet from the television. They exchanged the controller whenever one of them died, which happened quite often.

_They are way too competitive._ Lena stifled a yawn with her palm. “Aha.”

Her eyes closed on their own accord to the sound of Mxy complaining about the character’s limited wardrobe choices.

Lena awoke at the feeling of the blanket being pulled back from her body. But the combination of pain medication and the day’s work kept her from complaining, opening her eyes or even caring. An arm slipped under her knees and someone carefully scooped her up bridal-style. Lena snuggled into a shoulder, arms cradled to her chest because of the sudden cold. Then, she heard a door opening and the bed seemed to appear underneath her. Her lavender-scented socks were rolled off and the comforter enveloped her in warmth.

A fingertip slid down the bridge of her nose softly, as if checking her injury.

Kara whispered against her ear, “Goodnight, Lena.”

And Lena fell back asleep with a tiny smile on her face.

**_______________**

Lena was late again. _This is becoming unacceptable!_

The _Placeholder Name_ launch was in less than thirty minutes and she had to beat the lunch frenzy traffic. She regretted asking Mxy to head out before her to the Lenax 9 Facility. But after his loose cannon antics in Peru, she kept him miles away during presentations for new possible investors. Unfortunately, this particular investor had to be wined and dined at ridiculously early morning hours. The meeting had gone two hours over the scheduled time, but she’d secured half a billion for therapeutic nanomaterials testing in the process.

Lena skipped down the marble steps outside Cornerstone Astilbe Restaurant. She got to the curb only to realize that her Mercedes had not arrived. She snatched her phone out of her Ralph Lauren geometric-print canvas clutch to send an angry text to her driver. However, the phone began to vibrate with an incoming call before she got a chance. Lena didn’t recognize the number.

An unexplainable jolt ran up her spine. Phones had caused nothing but trouble as of late.

Despite her better judgment, she accepted the call. “Hello?”

“Hello, Lena.”

Her mother sounded gleeful. In the background, Lena heard the bustle of a crowded restaurant. She was too afraid to turn around—afraid she’d catch a glimpse of Lillian in one of the window tables.

Lena managed to keep her voice calm despite her trepidation. “Escaping jail might convince the judge to change your sentence from life in prison to the death penalty.”

Lillian chuckled and audibly took a sip of something. Lena suspected it was wine. “A red Cadillac is parked at the street corner of East Shore Street. Get in.”

“And why would I do that?”

“I have six different chemical weapons hidden in public locations around National City. Do you want me to set one off to prove it?”

“No.”

“Then see you soon, daughter. I have eyes on you. Don’t think to call your new boyfriend for help. And throw your phone into the nearest trash bin, along with your nifty little watch.”

“There’s a launch,” Lena quickly explained over the phone, “and I have to be there or Supergirl will become suspicious.”

“You get one phone call. And I will be monitoring it.”

Lillian hanged up.

Lena stared at her phone angrily. _She’s hacked me._

She had to act quickly if she was going to save the asteroid crew launch. She dialed Mxy’s number.

He picked up after the fifth ring. As an explanation, he said, “I was capturing a Pikachu.”

“Put Supergirl on.”

He was oddly silent for several seconds and then asked, “Are you alright?”

“Please put her on. I want to wish her a safe trip.”

Lena could easily picture Mxy narrowing his eyes suspiciously while holding the phone a foot from his face.

Eventually, Kara’s voice came from the other line. “Lena?”

“I will be unable to attend the launch due to some complications with one of my investors. I’m sorry but I leave you in very capable hands.”

Lena couldn’t let Kara know anything was wrong, jeopardizing the whole voyage for her wellbeing. She would personally deal with her mother and stop whatever ploy she had in the works.

Kara asked, “Is everything okay? You sound nervous.”

“Yes, I am. It’s a very important mission. Please be safe and I hope everything goes according to plan.”

“Thank you.”

Lena hanged up quickly. She was afraid Kara would add something to reveal her identity to that final goodbye.

She stomped toward East Shore Street on McQueen crystal heel pumps and threw her phone and watch into a recycle bin.

_It’s time to end this once and for all._

 

**_______________**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena’s “nice” [ Hervé Léger women’s Katlin dress](https://www.lyst.com/clothing/herve-leger-katlin-dress-powder-blue/).
> 
> Her [ Joie Natural Nadira pajama romper](https://www.lyst.com/clothing/joie-nadira-pajama-romper-nude/).
> 
> Her [ Ralph Lauren orange geometric-print canvas clutch](https://www.lyst.com/bags/pink-pony-geometric-print-canvas-clutch-orange/).
> 
> Her [ Alexander McQueen women’s black pumps](https://www.lyst.com/shoes/alexander-mcqueen-pump-black-31/).
> 
> Get in loser. We’re going shopping! (They’re not… they’re really, really not…)


	5. None of Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mxy exploits a trans-dimensional loophole and returns to earth. Lena hires the universe’s most intense assistant. Kara can’t handle Lena’s troublesome bestie. Cue asteroid heading for earth!

If Lena had learned anything from her brother’s attack on Gotham City, it was that he had an obsession with genetically engineered monsters. Apparently, he’d gotten the totally batshit crazy ‘quirk’ from his mother. Lillian had been busy micromanaging while in jail—the evidence was on display in the decrepit warehouse.

As Lena was led across a bridge with pipe railing, she counted ten tanks with Bloodborne-worthy mutations. The first floor had become a scientific hub filled with medical equipment of questionable sanitation.

Lillian’s main lair was (surprise, surprise) on the top floor, where she watched the madness unfold. Lena hoped her mother would spend a good two hours doing the usual speech that began, “And now, let me explain my grand scheme in painstaking detail…”

Cyborg Superman hit her shoulder from behind to speed up their pace.

Lena shot him a glare over her shoulder and promised silently, _I’m going to turn you into a washing machine._

At the end of the bridge, her mother’s favorite henchman opened a heavy safe door with three locks and a special combination. It was panic room worthy. Lillian had become beyond paranoid. The inside of the office was sparsely furnished and smelled of wet plaster.

Lillian paced in front of her desk. She stopped at the sight of her new visitors. Her wardrobe was a black suit with a double-breasted coat. She’d accessorized with a frown and booties.

Lillian motioned to the exposed wires on the porous ceiling. “I’m sorry about the lackluster conditions. My funds are limited.”

Lena rolled her eyes and promptly sat on the sofa beside the door. “You tried to shoot unwilling aliens into space. I’m sorry I canceled your credit card.”

Lillian skipped to her favorite part, being critical of Lena’s choices. She snatched a newspaper from her desk and held it up in accusation. “How dare you soil the Luthor legacy?”

Lena recognized the headline: _‘Forbidden Attraction: Lena Luthor Disregards Xenophobic Lineage and Romances Extraterrestrial.’_

The absurdity of the situation was equal parts comical and terrifying.

She hid her laugh behind a series of fake coughs, which she blamed on the dust floating around them. “You need a maid, mother. Why not turn the cyborg into a vacuum cleaner? It might make him smarter.”

Lillian shredded the newspaper to pieces with her fingertips. “I did not envision a polluted match for my daughter. You are the last Luthor in power. You have everything—brilliance, beauty and money. The world is ready to cower at your feet.”

Lena crossed her arms. “I don’t care for the attention.”

Lillian sighed, a dramatic gesture with no true concern or love. She stepped behind her desk, opened a drawer and retrieved a plastic gadget. “Then, you’re forcing my hand.”

Lena leaned forward. “What do you accomplish by killing innocent civilians?”

“Oh, it’s more complicated than that, darling.” Lillian approached Lena and sat on the armrest farthest from her. “You think aliens are not dangerous. You think they’re here to help us. You think you’re on their side.”

Lena dug her fingernails into the cushioned seat. “I am!”

“You fear them as much as I do.”

“Never.”       

“You are prejudiced against aliens, whether you see it or not. Because in your heart, you know that what they are… what they represent… the extinction of the human race. Tell me, Lena. If given the choice, whom would you save? A human or an alien?”

Lena’s mouth went dry. “No… you can’t…”

“We’re going to play a game. It’s called ‘Push a Button or Everybody Dies.’ Now, listen carefully to the rules.”

“You’re insane! If you think, for a moment, that I’m going to be part of your sadistic experiment—”

Lillian interrupted, “Lena, dear, listen carefully. You don’t want to make a mistake and blow apart National City.”

Lena bit her lower-lip and swallowed the curse she wanted to hurl.

Lillian continued, “I hid six chemical bombs around the city. You have the choice to only detonate three. Choices one-through-three are in public property. I won’t go into too much detail because you’re a clever girl. Parks, stadiums and libraries are all fair game. It’s safe to say—most of those casualties will be human. Then, I was a bit more selective. Four-through-six required detective work. The lot includes alien bars, hotels, restaurants, and you’ll be horrified to hear they even have convention centers to give these abhorrent equal-rights speeches. Now, you have a choice. Who lives? Who dies? Or they all die. I can’t give you a specific body count, but you’ll hear it eventually in the news.” Lillian threw a remote-control contraption into her lap.

Lena picked it up and noticed a screen and six red numbers on its surface.

“You have an hour to make your choice.”

Lena’s shaking fingers curled around the controller. “What you’re doing is abhorrent. You’re the real monster. The destruction of the human race will be brought upon by people like you, with blind ambition and irrational fear.”

Lillian put a hand over her heart. “I am willing to play the villain role if it opens your eyes to the truth.”

Lena stood in indignation. “Supergirl is risking her life for the human race! An asteroid is heading for Earth and she has gone off into space to save us _all_. And you want me to spit your disgusting bigotry in her face when she returns.”

“She’s the worst of them all. You’ve fallen for her manipulation.”

_Think. Get under her skin. Weasel out a weakness._

“You need money. If you go through with this, I will scour through every affiliate program and project to find the fountain trickling into your pocket. If by some miracle you escape the death penalty, you won’t have a single cent in jail to make your life even remotely bearable.”

“It hurts to hear my own daughter say that. Don’t you see how they divide us?”

_She is deaf to reason._

Lena switched strategies and reached for her mother’s cold hand. “Then, teach me, let me see. But this is a step too far, too soon. Mother, please.”

“You are an exemplary Luthor.” Lillian smirked and disentangled their fingers roughly. “The tears in your eyes, how your lower-lip quivers… so believable. I’m impressed.”

Lena wiped the tears off her cheeks angrily. “I will stop your plan. You aren’t half the strategist I am.”

“That gave me chills.” Lillian snapped her fingers to get the cyborg’s attention. “Lead my daughter to a cell where she can think about her choice in private. Tonight, we find out where her loyalties lie.”

 

**_______________**

 

The crackling electricity below made Lena jump in surprise. Her heel got hooked between two of the metal panels that composed the bridge floor. She tripped over her McQueen pumps but recovered with a huff. It was Mxy’s voice she heard in her head saying, _“Your fashion is killer, my love.”_ She didn’t remember what she wore to earn the compliment but the words struck her with the force of a slap. She was wearing a weapon—a four-inch weapon. Mxy added in her head, _“Make it work!”_

“Damn that gorgeous man,” Lena mumbled under her breath. She faked another stumble and fell forward on her knees while clutching the controller to her chest.

Cyborg Superman kneeled and grabbed her shoulder to help her up. Lena took the opportunity to send a swift kick to his stomach. He groaned in pain and careened backward. His back hit the pipe ledge and smoothly slid over it. He grasped at the air and found nothing to take hold.

She heard the loud splat of his landing. _It won’t kill him._ She’s only earned herself a good minute.

The first floor came alive with screams and orders. She heard boots marching up the steps across the bridge.

Lena slipped off her heels and held them in her hands like twin blades. She quickly realized her plan was utterly ridiculous. She found a Plan B: a nice rectangular button with the word ‘ACTIVATE.’ It was displayed above a foggy tank filled with greenish water. Unfortunately, the button was a good two stories under the bridge.

“Let’s hope all those years of tennis weren’t a waste,” Lena whispered to herself as feeble encouragement. She leaned over the railing, squinted and threw the shoe with all her strength. The tip miraculously hit the target. A blaring siren drowned out her celebratory cheer.

The button flashed red, triggering other lights around the tank. The water receded through opened drains on the floor, slowly revealing the abomination sleeping within. It was a crossbreed between a man, alligator and bear—its skin a mixture of scales and fur.

The hybrid awoke with a start. It had eyes like nothing human. In the blink of an eye, it ripped out the wires inserted into his arms and sent a fist into the glass. The tank shattered with the swift finality of a curtain.

“What have you done?!” Lillian screamed hoarsely.

Lena glanced over her shoulder, eyes still wide and horrified. Her mother pointed an accusatory finger her way while standing next to her office door.

“I’m being a Luthor,” Lena answered simply. “Destruction is our expertise.”

Lillian reached for the door handle and Lena hurled the other shoe at her hand. It hit the target as well and Lillian startled back a few feet, clutching her wrist. It was all the time Lena needed to run past her mother to the other side of the door.

Lea spotted the cyborg and a group of guards, who finally made it to the bridge entrance. She also saw the panic in Lillian’s eyes; it was pure, unconcealed fear.

The first floor sounds had become screams of pain and monstrous roars.

Despite the anguish that suffocated her very being, Lena forced herself to smirk with contempt. “Goodbye, mother.”

Lillian reached for her, a step too far to do anything. “LENA!”

Lena slammed the door closed and typed in the combination. The cyborg hadn’t even thought of hiding it from her eyes. Once the door securely locked, she changed the code. And to be a bit more spiteful, she made Kara’s fake human birthday the numbers.

She settled her palms on the door when she was done, taking deep but shaky breaths. Lillian’s screaming grew fainter. Lena suspected she was being dragged away. Whether it was by someone or _something_ , she didn’t know…

Lena needed Mxy. Now.

Lena walked to the only painting in the room: some Picasso piece that resembled a deformed iguana. She hoped her suspicions were correct. After a few seconds of palming the frame, she felt a switch.

_Classic villain mistake_ , she gloated.

She flipped the switch and the frame opened inward to reveal a secret room. The inside was sparse as well, but it had a large control panel and screen. Lena didn’t dare look at the video-feed. She would doubtlessly have nightmares about today. There was no point in further subjecting herself to the horror her mother helped create.

Her first priority was cracking her mother’s security system. She got to work on that while establishing a call with the separate communication program.

Mxy picked up instantly. He demanded, “Where have you been? I’m stuck with Winn at headquarters. If he mentions Star Wars one more time, I’m going to turn his hands into squids.”

“No time! Terrorist attack! Fifty minutes! I’m texting you my coordinates!”

“I’d happily jump into an alligator-infested swamp to get out of here.” Mxy appeared in front of her in a swirl of blue fog. He did a peace sign over his right eye and smiled, as if posing for a picture. The expression disappeared as soon as he took in his colorless surroundings. He whined, “Why is it always remote warehouses? The Wi-Fi here is shit anyway.”

“My deranged mother has chemical bombs all over the city and I’m trying to reprogram this controller so it becomes some sort of bomb detector.” She picked up the controller for a second before going back to her fast-paced typing. “I’m not optimistic because I’m not a master hacker and the code is longer than my prescription medication list during tradeshow season.”

“Take a breath, Lena. You’re purple.” Mxy tapped one of the screens. “What’s going on down there?”

“A well-deserved massacre,” Lena said through gritted teeth. “I really don’t want Kara’s return to be ruined by Cadmus.”

Mxy lost interest in the bloody dismembering. “You want me to kidnap Winn?”

“No, he’s needed by the asteroid crew. I just have to… wait… yes… that’s it. It’s so simple!”

“Don’t tell me. Winn went on about the Risch algorithm for half-an-hour until I threatened to slit his throat with a bendy straw.”

“I’ll ignore your attempted-murder admission.” Lena hooked the controller to the panel with a special charger and finished rewriting the code. “Okay, I’ve done it… somewhat. It’s a proximity-based tracker. I just need to figure out how to drive around the whole city under an hour to find these bombs.”

“Like Pokémon Go?”

There was a long silence, where Lena contemplated throttling Mxy. “I don’t know why you thought that was the appropriate comparison to make, but yes, like Pokémon Go.”

“Don’t worry. I’m already at level 25.”

Lena wanted to laugh and scream, but mostly just cry. “Mxy—”

He was gone in a flash.

She put a hand on her waist and glared at the empty space where he once stood. Eventually, he remembered he’d forgotten her and returned with a sheepish smile.

“My apologies.” He grabbed her wrist and they disappeared together.

Lena wasn’t a fan of instantaneous transportation, the equivalent of being on the world’s fastest and shortest rollercoaster. She could never tell whether she wanted it to stop or never end. They reappeared on the sidewalk at East Shore Street.

_Where it all began_ , Lena thought.

She shielded her eyes from the setting sun with her palm. When her eyes adjusted, she noticed that the car parked on the curb wasn’t just _any_ normal car.

Lena’s knees buckled and Mxy had to hold her up by the shoulder. She stuttered, “Is t-t-that the Batmobile?”

Mxy steadied her gently. “I’m sure Batman won’t mind. We need something fast. There’s no better set of wheels on the planet.”

“You _stole_ Batman’s car?”

“I left him an IOU card.”

Lena had almost grown accustomed to the stomach-flipping sensation that signified impending doom. “Oh great, he can track us down.”

Mxy patted her head, ignoring her reddening cheeks and rising blood pressure. “Get in the car, loser. We’re going bomb scouting.”

Mxy had the audacity to take the driver’s seat. He spent a good minute setting and resetting circular sunglasses with a golden double-bridge over his nose. Lena seriously doubted Batman had ever used his rearview mirror to do something like that.

For her part, Lena sat in the passenger seat and glanced at the small controller screen. No bombs appeared in the near vicinity. She decided to do the breathing exercises she paid some Buddhist monk from Thailand two grand to teach her. Today’s fiasco warranted a full-scale exorcism.

She finally snapped when Mxy leaned forward in his seat and asked, “Is that light green or red?”

They hadn’t even left East Shore Street yet.              

“Take the damn glasses off.”

“These are Gucci,” Mxy defended, accelerating and taking the red light. Luckily, there had been no traffic at the street corner. “Relax, Lena.” He pressed a random button on the dashboard and an air vent under her seat started blowing cold air up her skirt. The fabric flew upward, blocking her view of traffic. “Whoops!”

Lena slammed the vent shut with her foot. There was no time to pull Mxy’s ear or punch his shoulder. Lena’s full attention drifted to the woman in the middle of the crosswalk, seconds away from being trampled. She screamed, “OLD LADY!”

Mxy turned his eyes back to the road and slammed down on the breaks. The car did five full circles before coming to a stop a foot from the pedestrian and her poodle.

The dog barked and tried to chew off its leash; the woman hit it over the head with her cane. She recognized the model of the car and waved at them, very slowly. She told her dog, “It’s only Batman, Buttercup. Quiet down.”

Mxy lowered his window a bit and slipped a hand outside to wave. He said, “Batman should pay us. We’re boosting his approval ratings.”

Lena literally kicked the dashboard in frustration and let out a scream. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t thrown up yet. She threw her door open, walked around the back of the car and opened Mxy’s door. “Out! I’m driving.” She shoved the controller into his hands. “You scout.”

“I’m a persistent driver, Lena. I wore down my instructor until I got my license.”

“That’s not how driving works!”

Mxy glanced down at her feet and blurted, “Are you not wearing shoes?” He sounded absolutely appalled.

Lena grabbed his collar and physically lifted him from the seat. She didn’t let go as she threatened, “You better hope I don’t die today or I’m coming back and haunting you for the rest of your immortal life.”

 

**_______________**

They found the first bomb in a willow tree in National City Park. Nearby, a dozen children played on swing sets. Their parents gossiped on benches under shading trees. The sight sobered both of them: Lena’s temper quieted and Mxy’s mirth evaporated. After that, Mxy didn’t make any more jokes.

Mxy threw the bomb into a volcano in Venezuela and they returned to their bomb hunting.

Lena had never seen Mxy so worried. It made her uncomfortable. She had an inexplicable need to fill the silence in the car.

At another red light, she said, “Remind me to get my ovaries ripped out. I have to be the last Luthor or Earth won’t make it another fifty years thanks to a catastrophic explosion or zombie apocalypse.”

Mxy took a moment to take in her words, then asked, “You want me to add that to this month’s calendar?”

She smiled at him and he winked. For the first time, Lena felt confident. _No one has to die today. I won’t let them._

The second bomb was a personal jab: the underground alien bar where Mon-El bartended. Lena wondered, not for the first time, if Lillian knew Kara was Supergirl. She’d been in the bar less than two weeks ago, for a friendly girl’s night out with Kara. Kara never showed, sadly, busy with two bank robberies and a subway accident. Instead, Lena spent the night playing beer pong with a rambunctious blonde who said she was Winn’s girlfriend. Lena even spent a good ten minutes at the bar counter complaining to Mon-El about Mxy, who’d reorganized her closet and burned all of her “1800s grandmother” ruffled shirts. That happened before the asteroid had been detected. To think, she’d thought her life was out of control then…                    

The third bomb’s location was worse. National City stadium had a sold out game. Lena had no idea what two baseball teams were playing that night, but thousands had showed up to watch. They found the bomb in a concession stand. A new-hire pointed it out to them and asked, “You here to fix the broken popcorn machine?” Mxy actually sought out the manager to warn him, “Don’t let that one take cash register duty. I doubt he knows how to count.”

When they returned to the Batmobile, the reality of their timing sank in. They had twenty minutes and three bombs left.

Mxy suggested, “I’ll steal the Flash’s super speed, make a hundred copies of myself and the controller and scout the city from different starting points.”

“That sounds beyond illegal but I’m going to play devil’s advocate and agree.” Lena put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. “I will bail you out of jail.”

“To be honest, I don’t have to take the Flash’s powers. But we played strip poker last week and he cheated.”

Lena squeezed his shoulder, harder. “You can’t keep your copies. Do you hear me? I can’t handle more than one of you.”

He rolled his eyes. “As if I’d share you.”

A nervous laugh came bursting from her lips. “What does that mean?”

Mxy gave her an enigmatic smile.

Bombs four and five were found in less than ten minutes. Mxy kept a telepathic link to his copies and explained, “They were inside a hospital and Parks and Recreation center.”

Lena held on to the steering wheel firmly, momentarily blinded by rage. “The Luthor legacy is an inerasable blood stain.”

“You’re not like her,” Mxy insisted, pulling on her ponytail to wake her from her reverie. The controller in his hand beeped and he glanced at the screen. “Stop the car. I think the last bomb is in that hotel up the street.”

“Go. You’re faster,” Lena instructed, parking the car in front of a fast-food restaurant under construction.

Mxy teleported out of his seat.

Lena waited, examining the hotel through the windshield. The building was bright and golden and filled with life.

It happened too fast for her to process. Something rammed into her side, momentarily lifting the Batmobile. However, the car was too heavy and, instead of flipping, it slammed back down onto the road. Lena shook her head in a daze and looked through her window.

An Excavator from the construction site had moved onto the road. She saw Lillian sitting in the driver’s seat.

_You’ve got to be shitting me!_

Her mother slammed the bucket into the windshield and the glass finally broke. Lena protected her face with one of her forearms, switched the gearshift and hit reverse. Lillian missed the second time she tried to hit the car.

Lena moved from defensive to offensive. She slammed into the track pads, hoping to throw the Excavator off balance. Lillian swung the stick around and scrapped the roof of the Batmobile.

Lena bowed her head and flattened her foot on the accelerator. Lillian reversed. Sparks flew between them, metal grazing metal, mother fighting daughter. Unfortunately, the Batmobile dashboard chose that moment to blare a warning siren. The sudden sound startled Lena and she lost control of the steering wheel. The Batmobile made a sharp turn and hit a concrete barrier on the side of the road. It quickly reeled backward and crashed into the Excavator. Lena held on to her seatbelt as the car flipped over, and glass cut her face, and the world went dark.

 

**_______________**

“Lena, can you hear me? It’s your best friend. Mxy.”

For some reason, Lena found that uproariously funny; her laugh of drunken hiccups echoed in her head. She walked down a cave in her dreams toward Mxy’s voice. When she opened her eyes, everything hurt. Even her damn eyelids.

The hospital room was like any other. Lena had had enough panic attacks and stroke scares to recognize most of the medical equipment around her. The breathing mask strapped over her face itched. Although there was an IV inserted in her hand, she phantom texted with her fingers unconsciously.

Her eyes traveled to Mxy, who sat in a chair beside her bed, then down the length of her body. She coughed into the mask, took a lungful of air and rasped, “What am I wearing?”

The bed sheets ended at her waist, revealing an oversized shearling coat in lavender.

“Tom Ford,” Mxy answered breezily. “I told the nurses that if you were going to die, you were going to die looking amazing. I’ve changed your outfit everyday. Only Fall-Winter collections, don’t worry, the mood has to fit the season.”

She croaked, “You’re insane.” What he said registered in her hazy mind and she repeated, fearfully, “Everyday?”

Mxy cradled her cheek with his palm and revealed, “You were in a coma for a week. I was afraid healing your body would lead to further complications with your brain. It’s a complex organ… and I didn’t… I couldn’t lose… how do you feel?”

A curl fell into his eyes and Lena had the urge to push it back. Her arm moved slightly, and then fell back on the bed; it felt ten times heavier than usual. “What happened?”

“You saved the city.”

“We saved the city.”

He shook his head. “No. You saved the city. I would be in a police precinct answering questions about Winn’s mysterious disappearance right now if you hadn’t called.”

Lena chuckled and rested her cheek on her pillow, trapping his hand. She remembered sparks and asked, “My mother?”

There was a moment of silence. “She didn’t make it.”

Lena closed her eyes. The drugs and morphine pumping through her system didn’t allow her to understand the odd emptiness in her chest. Hours from now, she would. She’d shrivel up and cry herself dry.

Lena kept her voice stead, and strong like steal. “L-Corp?”

“Don’t worry. Your stocks are up by five percent. I fired an executive in Beijing. That’s the only status report necessary until you’re in a better health condition for a full briefing.”

Lena nodded, relief flooding her system. It was strange that one of the few people she counted on without question was a god infamous for trickery and deceit. What did that say about her life? Yet, she had the nagging suspicion that she was forgetting something.

Mxy slipped his hand out from under her cheek and intertwined his fingers in front of his face. He leaned over the bed and dug his elbows into the mattress. “There’s something else you need to know,” he began.

Lena rolled her eyes at him. Mxy hardly ever hesitated with ridiculous news. She hated when people thought she was too frail to hear the truth.

Lena demanded, “Tell me.”

“The asteroid disappeared.”

_Of course, that’s it!_ “That’s an odd way to phrase it.”

Mxy fidgeted with his fingers, avoiding her gaze. “It wasn’t destroyed. It disappeared.” Mxy licked his lower lip, obviously contemplating how to phrase his next sentence as carefully as possible. “The _Placeholder Name_ crew is missing… Kara is missing.”

There was a sharp spike in Lena’s heart rate. Her vision narrowed. Her breathing faltered. She whispered, “I need more drugs.”

Several nurses rushed into the room, followed by an imposing figure in black. Lena saw them from the corner of her eye. The nurses spoke to her while moving about, turning off the alarm, checking her vitals and preparing an injection with a frighteningly long needle.

Mxy sat on the bed beside her and held her shaking shoulders. He instructed, “Deep, steady breaths.”

A brooding shadow loomed over her from the foot of the bed.

Lena stopped scratching at her IV to glare at the man just _staring_ at her, as if she were some medical experiment. She recognized him immediately and instinctively reached for Mxy’s hand and gripped it tightly.

Mxy scooted closer and whispered in her ear, “Also, Batman’s here. He keeps asking about his car.”

It had barely been five minutes since she’d woken up…

Lena whimpered. “Oh great. We can compare childhood traumas.”

The universe hated her. That had to be the reason it piled up a shit-load of problems and topped it off with the sweetest of cherries—her neurotic, bat-loving ex-boyfriend.

 

**_______________**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mxy’s [Gucci shades](https://www.lyst.com/accessories/gucci-56mm-round-sunglasses-glitter-blue-brown-glitter-blue-brown/?reason=search-product).
> 
> Lena’s [Tom Ford shaggy shearling oversized coat](https://www.tomford.com/shaggy-shearling-oversized-coat/CPF627-FUX039.html?cgid=PRE%20AUTUMN%2FWINTER%202017&dwvar_CPF627-FUX039_color=GV430#start=26). 
> 
> Batman doesn’t even go here!


	6. You Should Know Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mxy exploits a trans-dimensional loophole and returns to earth. Lena hires the universe’s most intense assistant. Kara can’t handle Lena’s troublesome bestie. Cue asteroid heading for earth!

It took twenty minutes to stabilize Lena. In the chaos of quarreling nurses and flying injections, she forced Mxy to give her doctor a pep talk to remove the breathing mask. The compromise was minimizing her sedative dosage; begrudgingly, she agreed.

Her doctor, a middle-aged woman who’d jumped at the sight of Batman brooding in the darkest corner of the room, had been insistent about a no-talking-or-stress policy.

“And no visitors,” she’d snapped, glaring at the two men in turn.

Batman stalked forward with a scowl, cape flowing behind him. “I’m here on behalf of the National City Police Force, as well as the Gotham City Police Department.”

The doctor remained unimpressed, and not at all intimidated by the caped crusader invading her personal space with his tall form of rippling muscle. “Are you the husband?”

“No.”

“Then, get out.” She jutted her chin in Mxy’s direction. “You too, pretty boy.”

Lena instantly liked her. Nonetheless, she spoke up quickly.

“Please,” Lena begged, her voice barely above a whisper. “This is a matter of international security.”

The doctor put her hands on her waist and regarded Lena for a few, tense moments. She said, “Alright. But the other one goes.” She pointed to Mxy. “He’s been breaking protocols the whole week. I caught him painting these walls pink.”

“I was trying to add some color to your hideous hospital,” Mxy defended himself in a huff.

Lena looped her arm through Mxy’s again and added, “He is my benign tumor, and goes anywhere I go.”

The doctor was not amused. “Miss Luthor, you were in a coma—”

Lena interrupted, “And your care has been wonderful, or so I’ve been told.” No one had told her anything. “As a member of the National City Hospital medical board I am impressed. Rest assured, I will repay my debt during the December fundraiser, which will be hosted at my summer home in Rhode Island.”

Her voice was hoarse and her throat burned from the strain of talking, but the medical staff shuffled out of the room quickly. Nothing motivated people more than the subtle promise of money.

That had all happened five minutes ago. Lena sipped a cup of herbal tea while mentally preparing her statement. The fan blowing across the room made her coat _bristle_ , like the fur of a giant bear right out of hibernation. And the bear was irritated, and hungry, and willing to rip the face off the next person who so much as contemplated a catty comment.

Batman—no—Bruce waited out her teatime practically behind a window curtain. Mxy glared at Bruce from her bedside, where he’d nested like some mother bird protecting its chick. Though, Lena thought his intentions were closer to a parasitic cuckoo that secretly left its eggs in another bird’s nest, after kicking the real eggs out of the tree. Maybe she was simply not making any sense…

The whole scene was horrifying, truly.

Bruce broke the silence with a glorious cape whoosh. He asked in his deep, raspy voice, “How are you feeling?”

Mxy frowned. “You want a cough drop for that horrendous cold?”

_God, strike me now._ Lena pinched Mxy’s arm in warning. Not one for secrecy, he squealed and rubbed his skin with a pout. She had no patience for Bruce’s weak attempt at courtesy or Mxy’s irrational unpredictability. She said, “Get to the point.”

Bruce stalked forward and crossed his arms. “Your mother’s rabid mutation took a whole day and three SWAT teams to subdue. And we captured her cronies, including the cyborg, at the Canadian border.”

She understood his visit immediately: He viewed her bomb-hunting nightmare as careless. “I left them to their own devices because I had other priorities. The warehouse was far enough from civilization to give me a few hours to inform authorities. The bombs were on a strict timer.”

Mxy glanced between them, sensing a history that escaped his previous research into her life. He conjured a bag of popcorn to feed his amusement. Lena promptly slapped it off his lap and ruined his fun.

Bruce didn’t appear satisfied with her answer. “Lillian left all of her assets to you in her will. Several senators believe you conspired with her to infiltrate privately owned biotechnology companies and several national biological warfare programs.”

_My mother fucks up my life even in hell. Typical._ “I have no interest in biological warfare. I was approached to be a consultant for a few projects, but I refused. Any input that was provided on behalf of L-Corp was not done so by me. I suspect my mother had several puppets working for her behind the scenes without my knowledge.”

“This could go to court. I need to know your state of mind. Are you on medication again?”

Mxy jerked off the bed instantly. “Don’t be a bitch, Gollum.”

Bruce ignored him. “Control your boyfriend.”

Lena reached for Mxy’s sleeve and pulled him back down. Lena had no strength in her arm; Mxy complied nonetheless. She sighed and took another sip of tea, her suspicions confirmed. “What did she do?”

“Other than unethical human experimentation, she was developing an airborne virus to attack the immune systems of extraterrestrials with the help of a foreign state I will not name. If convicted, you’re facing at least thirty years in a maximum security prison.”

“L-Corp?”

“All over the documentation. This is, of course, still a private investigation, considering you are already facing a very public one for _different_ reasons.” Bruce paced at the foot of her bed. “I don’t want to waste your time by asking for a statement. I got all the information I need from your assistant.” Bruce glared at Mxy with anything but admiration; Lena knew Mxy’s statement had likely been a thinly veiled stream of ‘fuck you’s. “Lawyer up. This is making its way to the White House.”

“Is there more?”

“You have a brilliant mind and insatiable curiosity. So did Lex.”

Lena closed her eyes in pain. She had grown immensely tired of this particular speech, though she’d heard different versions of it throughout her lifetime. _I am always a Luthor, never simply Lena. Even to those I know._ Her response was swift. “I’m not him. You have nothing to worry about.”

Bruce nodded. “Good.”

“Are we done?” Mxy asked impatiently.

“My car…” Bruce let the unfinished insinuation hang between them.

Lena sighed again. “Cash or credit?”

 

**_______________**

 

When Mxy had asked Lena what she wanted to wear to leave the hospital, she had refused to wear black. There was no time for mourning, or the barest semblance of weakness. Too much was at stake. Besides, she refused to support the paparazzi and journalists camped out in the hospital parking lot. Black added credibility to their defamatory articles claiming L-Corp was on the brink of collapse.

An unidentified source had leaked crucial D.E.O intelligence, linking the asteroid to L-Corp. The media was having a field day: a government organization kept secret from the public that operated independently and possibly did not adhere to national jurisdiction—oh and the Luthors were involved! She had refused to turn on the television. The helicopters zooming over the hospital night and day told her the story was nowhere near dead.

“Every time I think my situation can’t get worse, the universe laughs,” Lena told Mxy on her second morning of consciousness, looking around at the many floral arrangements decorating her hospital room. Her assistant’s doing, obviously.

_Why can’t Angelina Jolie adopt another kid so they move on?_ She pointed heavenward. _I’ve donated millions to charity._ _Throw me a bone here!_

“They only know that you were involved in a secret operation to destroy the asteroid and provided crucial resources to carry out the mission.” Mxy fluffed her pillow. “Technically, they can’t prove you were involved if the leaked report itself said you were only suspected of illegal activity—” He took a much needed breath. “—and irresponsible scientific testing that led to the redirection of the asteroid from another star system.”

It was all a ridiculous mouthful that screamed GUILTY.

Mxy had been left out of the material entirely and Lena was infinitely thankful. Kara had likely pulled some strings and called in favors to make that happen. Telling the government there was a god on earth would have caused absolute mayhem. Especially one with weekly appointments at the Kinky Curly Hair Salon.

Mxy cleared his throat. “I have a suggestion of how to distract the media, mainly the sleazy publications.”

Lena put up a hand, halting the verbal onslaught that would likely make her nauseous. “Just do it. I don’t want to know the details. The shitstorm will hit me, eventually, and I’ll just struggle through the wind currents until I find an underground shelter.”

Mxy stressed, “Anything?”

“Anything.”

“I’ll make it happen,” he assured, winking for good measure.

After a few seconds of silence that Mxy failed to occupy with an irrelevant observation, Lena turned her head to the side. She found him appraising her appearance, biting his lower-lip in a weak attempt at suppressing a smile.

She narrowed her eyes, suspicious. “Yes?”

“Are you ever going to tell me how you know the bat with the sexual predator voice?”

_Oh great, here we go…_

Lena sighed, annoyed that her weak legs didn’t allow her to simply bolt for the door. She spat the words like a curse, “We dated.”

Mxy choked on his spittle, but managed to clamp a hand over his mouth before he completely lost it. He nodded eagerly, desperate to hear more and unwilling to allow his big mouth to ruin Lena’s ongoing revelation.

Lena got an important disclaimer out of the way first. “If you ever repeat what I am about to tell you, I will make you rue coming out of whatever black hole from hell that birthed you.”

Mxy faked a hurt expression and put a hand over his heart, “Don’t talk about my mother like that, Lena.”

She continued with an unwinding roll of her eyes, “Batman’s real name is Bruce Wayne and he was friends with my brother, Lex. They met during a robotics competition at our university. Anyway, we started dating when I was a senior in high school. I found out he was Batman while working on my master’s in genetic engineering.” Being a young genius had had its perks. “We tried to salvage the relationship but between evil clowns, eco-terrorists with mind controlling pheromones, and leather-clad jewelry thieves, along with a whole circus of villains, he couldn’t find time for me. Unsurprisingly.”

Lena couldn’t believe it had taken her years to realize the truth. Bruce had given her a wooden stake for their one-year anniversary along with the explanation, “It was used to kill Vlad the Impaler.” She should have jumped ship right then and there.

_Damn his fantastic ass._

“Also, he was kind of an asshole,” Lena admitted. “One time, we escaped to St. Moritz for a romantic weekend of skiing in the Alps. He loved sneaking up on me and thought it was brilliant to do it there, thousands of feet off the ground. I slipped down a mountain, crashed into a pine tree and shattered my pelvis in three different places. Bruce got called into a business meeting so his butler, Alfred, drove me to the hospital.”

Lena had opened up an emotional dam and now she couldn’t stop talking. “I met Diana Prince, one of his other ex-girlfriends, at an art gallery showing last year when we got into a bidding war over a Correggio painting. Somehow, Bruce was mentioned and we spent half the showing complaining about the pain-in-the-ass. The experience was so cathartic we ended up having a one-night stand.” A strangled cry prompted Lena to return her attention to Mxy, instead of the white wall that reminded her of a snowdrift. She watched Mxy close his eyes and bite into his knuckles. “You’re crying from holding in your laughter.”

“No, I’m not,” Mxy barely managed to whimper, his body quietly convulsing. He quickly wiped at the tears forming in his eyes and hid his face in his hand, pretending to have a silent moment of prayer. “I’m just… so happy… you’re alive…”

Lena relaxed against her pillow and glared at the ceiling. “Douchebag.”

Mxy cleared his throat in an attempt to compose himself. “There is never a dull day working for you.”

“I know. It’s awful. Can’t I have one weekend to enjoy the first season of Hannibal without receiving a phone call about a crisis in South Africa?”

“Never,” Mxy said, trailing his fingers down her arm. He grabbed her hand, brought it up to his lips and kissed her wrist. His lips brushed her skin as he added, “Goddesses are in the center of all great earthly turmoil. Or so the Greeks say…”

A week later, Lena wore every color of the rainbow on the day of her release. She chose a simple and sophisticated strapless cocktail dress by Caroline Herrera. The beaded trim was a sparkling black, however, afterward, stripes of every color spiraled around the white dress. Lena was going to slam the first journalist who made a snappy comment about her fashion with a lawsuit. She had saved the ‘emotional distress’ card for the most opportune time.

Lena waited until she and Mxy descended to the first floor of the hospital to play another card. Once she spotted the automatic front doors, she revealed, “I need to walk at least a meter to my car in front of the journalists.”

Mxy immediately stopped pushing her wheelchair and walked around it. He kneeled at her feet and advised, “The doctor said you can’t overexert yourself. Don’t be stubborn.”

“I know what I’m doing,” she answered, determined. “I can’t show weakness. Three feet. That’s all I’m asking.”

Lena kept his stare and refused to blink.

Mxy sighed and broke eye contact to smooth the fabric over her knees. “If anyone trips you, I am assaulting them. And I don’t want to hear about it later.”

“Deal.” Lena smiled, happy that he had complied without much protest. “I’ve told you to use your witchcraft to heal me faster.”

Mxy scoffed and returned to the handgrips to resume pushing. “First of all, I am a god, not a witch. Secondly, this is why I insist on nightly massages that stimulate cell growth. My fingers are magic. Thirdly, have you watched Charmed? It’s awful but every time it’s on I binge watch like six episodes in a row. It’s like a car crash and I’m sickly fascinated and can’t look away.”

Lena glared at him over her shoulder.

Mxy quickly realized his mistake and laughed nervously. “But like a mild crash, into like a mailbox, with no severe bodily injuries.”

Lena slipped on gold sunglasses to hide her displeasure with the whole situation. “Just get to the door.”

The parking lot was pandemonium. Every major television station had a van parked outside. Journalists and photographers flocked to Lena and Mxy at their exit, fussing and screaming and demanding answers. To Lena’s utter horror, the hospital had set up a red carpet from the entrance to her awaiting Mercedes. Though Lena had a sneaking suspicion Mxy had played a part in the melodramatic staging as well. Several dozen bodyguards hired by Mxy kept the media off the carpet. Every now and then, a microphone or camera was shoved in their path before the overeager journalist was pushed back again.

Lena crossed an arm over her stomach and kept the other firmly on the frame of her sunglasses, to prevent the shades from slipping down her nose. Unfortunately, nothing protected her ears, so she had to bear the inane and scathing questions:

“Is L-Corp a money-laundry scam that financially supports terrorist organizations?”

“Is Lex Luthor proud of how you almost destroyed the planet?”

“How exactly did your mother die?”

Mxy kept his end of the bargain. A few feet from the Mercedes he stopped and offered her his hand to help her off the wheelchair. She accepted it and stood with difficulty, though a bystander wouldn’t infer it from the way she kept her spine straight and her expression perfectly neutral. It would have all been flawless, if it hadn’t been for the journalist who climbed onto the trunk of her Mercedes and demanded, “Have you decided on a wedding date?”

Lena swore her heart stopped.

Her head snapped back to Mxy so quickly she got dizzy. He put a hand around her waist to keep her steady and gave her a dazzling smile. His twinkling eyes told a different story: _You said anything._

He hadn’t said a word, but Lena whispered, “I forgot anything actually means _anything_ with you.” She was going to faint in front of five hundred cameras. She felt terrible for asking, but the words slipped out without her permission, “Help me.”

Lena’s knees gave out. Mxy caught her arm and used the hand around her waist to firmly hold her body against his side as well. He whispered, “I’ve got you.”

It wasn’t the total stable image Lena had wanted to portray, but technically, she was still standing.

Lena took the final three steps to the Mercedes on totally-un-sensible $1,500 Giuseppe Zanotti stiletto heels decorated with lacquered gold-toned leaves. And she dared journalists to say a single bad thing about those too.

 

**_______________**

 

Winn looked ready to fall out of his chair.

“Start at the beginning,” Lena suggested, patting his hand softly from across the table.

Winn passed a water bottle between his hands, his eyes drifting back and forth between Lena and Mxy. He took a deep breath and said in a rather nervous tone, “Congratulations, by the way.”

Lena grew rigid. She refused to so much as glance at Mxy, who sat a few chairs to her right in the familiar conference room at D.E.O. National City Headquarters. Finally, she said through gritted teeth, “Thank you.”

“Are you sure you should be here?” Winn leaned forward, pressing his forearms onto the table. “I heard you were in a coma.”

“And now I’m back from the dead.” Lena impatiently tapped her fingers on the table surface. “I need to know everything about the _Placeholder Name_ crew disappearance.”

“D.E.O. is already conducting an investigation—”

“Winn,” Lena interrupted, saying his name with surprising force. She had never understood her mother’s habit of throwing furniture out windows as much as in this moment. “I need you to tell me what happened. You stayed in communication with the crew and directed the console staff at the Lenax 9 Facility firing room.”

“I heard the government closed the facility as part of their investigation.”

“I’m not here to discuss rumors. I’m here to talk to a friend.”

Winn settled back in his seat with another defeated sigh. “I don’t know what to tell you that I haven’t already said.”

“Tell me everything.”

“The launch had no issues. We monitored the hardware and software on board almost obsessively, since the ship was a prototype. There were no errors or physical damages detected. The external tank… the rocket boosters… trust me when I say that this was not a sudden explosion.”

Winn spent a good ten minutes discussing Launch Processing System, and even went as far as to describe the tests he’d conducted on the computer network while the crew slept.

He continued, “On the second day, I told Kara about your accident.”

“Winn!” Lena admonished fiercely. “The mission was priority. You shouldn’t have given them any reason to worry about anything else.”

Winn scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I know, I know. Kara almost flew back to Earth. But J’onn convinced her to stay. Everything went according to plan until the third day. When the ship was less than five miles from the asteroid, Kara left the ship on Kandy Ho to wait-out the mission on the nearby Meteor 498Y.” Winn catered Mxy to a scathing glare, since the god had given the manned bipedal robot the distinct name. “The asteroid did not attack the ship, meaning it didn’t consider their approach a threat. But, suddenly, we lost audio and video communication simultaneously. Not even Kara answered, and she wasn’t on the ship.”

Lena and Mxy scooted closer to Winn, practically on the edge of their seats.

“The system never detected anything that could have caused the outburst. There wasn’t a sudden meteor shower, or an alien ship, or even a mere fluke in the cockpit lighting.”

Lena’s dread took over her rational thinking and she swiveled her chair in Mxy’s direction. Her lower lip trembled as she asked him, “Did we kill them?”

Mxy leaned toward her, clasped his hands between his thighs and said, “I highly doubt it.”

“Then, where is she?” Lena demanded, losing her patience.

“The asteroid could have used a new ability that it naturally learned while traveling through space. We should have been on that ship in the first place. We can drive the smaller Karat Supernova backup prototype to the last coordinates _Placeholder Name_ was spotted, or even Meteor 498Y.”

“The second prototype is in its first stage of completion.”

“It was finished two days ago,” Mxy corrected. “I sped up the project and increased funding as soon as I realized we weren’t going into space with Kara and her band of planet saving tree huggers.”

“I didn’t authorize that!”

“It was a necessary precaution. Your judgment is flawed when it comes to Kara. You wanted to place all your faith in her and would see the second project as a show of mistrust. I, on the other hand, realized we needed to be prepared in case Kara did fail.”

“She didn’t fail.”

“We don’t even know where the asteroid is right now. It could be invisible.”

Lena lurched to her feet and asked, “Did you plan their disappearances?”

Mxy jerked back as if she’d physically struck him. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped, also getting to his feet. “I understand that we made a mistake by creating the asteroid but they further jeopardized Earth by actively keeping us away from the mission. You’re the smartest woman on this fucking planet and I am a god. They scorned your intelligence and belittled your abilities and you just—you didn’t deserve—Uugh!” He threw his arms up into the air in frustration and then passed a hand over his hair in a brisk fashion. “Forget it.”

Lena tensed as Mxy glared directly at her. He’d never shown her such open contempt. _This is our first two-sided fight._

Lena slammed her fist on the table. “I can’t just leave my company, Mxy. I have thousands of employees, a legacy to protect and a life’s work of projects that are on the brink of being confiscated by the United States government. It is just scandal after scandal. And now I have a wedding to plan!”

Frowning, Mxy strode forward with intent. “If you would just listen to me—”

Lena stopped him with an outstretched hand. “Stay away from me,” she spat, and subsequently heard Winn gasp in shock.

Sensing the hostility, Winn stood and outstretched his arms between them (though he did stay, safely, on the other side of the table). “Please, don’t fight. Superman will return next week and he’ll probably find the crew.” Winn gave Lena a sad but reassuring smile. “This isn’t your battle, Lena. You’ve helped us a lot. Take care of your company and your health. We’ll find Kara without you.”

_Without you…_

Winn had meant it as soothing words but the implication only stung.

“Don’t presume to know what she wants,” Mxy retorted.

“ENOUGH!” Lena screamed. She hid her warm face in her hands and dug the pads of her fingers into her eyes.

Physically, she was drained and wanted to crawl into a corner and pass out. She had a fever and throbbing migraine. Mentally, she had checked out hours ago. She’d refused her hourly opioid to keep a clear head and visit Winn to discuss the asteroid situation. She’d been out of the hospital for less than an hour and she was ready to go back. _And Mxy…_

She growled, “I just need five minutes where you aren’t fucking up my life.”

Lena let her hands slip off her cheeks. She met Mxy’s gaze and froze. His eyes were wide, his pupils dilated and his cheeks flushed. Lena had never seen him look so wild and frantic, like a dog that had been kicked into a corner and wanted nothing more than to be left alone. It was almost as if he didn’t know how to react to her hate. He was at a complete and total loss for words.

She whimpered, “I didn’t mean—”

Mxy shook his head, curls dancing. “I know what you meant.” His voice was low, and soft, and uncharacteristically hopeless. “You don’t believe me.”

Mxy spun away and left the conference room, slamming the door behind him. Lena didn’t hear the crack of the door splitting due to the force of his throw, too dumbstruck by his behavior and ashamed by her own. A full minute of silence passed until she heard Winn clear his throat.

“Couples fight all the time,” Winn rambled, clearly embarrassed at being stuck in the middle of such an intimate exchange. “My girlfriend once tried to throw me out a window after I ate the last ice cream sandwich in the freezer.”

Lena followed Mxy’s same path to the door in a daze. “I have to go.”

Winn yelled something else, but she was already on the other side of the door.

Everything was red—the floor, the walls, the ceiling, even her dress. The whole world had saturated to a grotesque hue as a waterfall raged into her ears and blocked out all sounds. She stumbled at some point down a pair of stairs, lost a shoe, nothing new there. She staggered past several hallways, made it to the parking lot and found an empty Mercedes with a befuddled driver. Lena kept going, certain that Mxy wouldn’t teleport elsewhere in his confused rage. He’d become far too fond of walking and climbing, and the drama of a slow exit.

She had done to him what everyone did to her: assumed the worst. Walking into a room as a Luthor came with a list of unspoken accusations. ‘Did you plan their disappearances?’ had been a knife right into his back. Though Lena couldn’t help but feel that he deserved it too.

Lena spotted Mxy climbing over a fence leading to a sidewalk. Her throat closed up. The panic attack had hit its peak. She shut her eyes tightly and screamed his name at the top of her lungs, although her own ears remained deaf.

Mxy let go of the metal and whipped his head back in her direction, stunned. If the pigeons that scurried off the power lines above her were any indication, her voice had carried over several blocks.

Mxy disappeared and reappeared less than a foot from her. He raised a cocky brow and said, “You just punctured a lung screaming ‘asshole.’”

Lena had thought she’d said his name.

Either way, her breath left her in a relieved rush and she grabbed a fistful of his ridiculous leather jacket. She had an inexplicable need to hold on to him. Everyone seemed to be vanishing from her life, either in the blink of an eye or into an early grave. She pulled him toward her with a firm tug, stretched her arms up around his neck and hugged him. He smelled good, a woody musk by either Dior or Armani.

She buried her face in into his chest and murmured into his shoulder, “I’m sorry.” The apology rang in her ears. “I know what it’s like to be judged before I open my mouth. I won’t hold the past against you. I know you’re on my side, even though your schemes almost get me killed half of the time.”

His arms circled her waist and he bended over to press his lips to her forehead gently. He jerked back instantly, concerned, “You’re burning up.”

“My brain is frying,” she admitted.

He cradled her face in his hands and used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you behind. I’m an irresponsible idiot and all of this is my fault.”

“You are,” Lena agreed, registering his words. She inclined her head back to meet his stare and hit his chest with her fist. “Own up to it!”

“I’m an asshole,” Mxy said. “I’m sorry I got you kidnapped, put thousands of dollars worth of clothing purchases on the company credit card, suggested killing your biggest competitor, pissed off the Peruvian mafia, stole Batman’s car…” Mxy lifted Lena off the ground and spun her around in a mocking princess fashion with effortless grace. He sang, “…used your bathroom without asking, reorganized your closet, started tabloid rumors about our relationship, installed zebra print carpeting in the _Placeholder Name_ cockpit—can I do an abridged version of my faults so we’re not here the whole day?”

Lena crossed her arms. “I’m still not convinced.”

He set her back on the ground and got down on one knee, in a very familiar pose. “Lena Luthor, will you accept my apology?”

For moment, Lena thought the heavy panting was coming from her. But it was Winn, who’d jogged up to them while rolling her wheelchair. He said, “I thought you already popped the question.”

Mxy didn’t appear surprised that Winn had interrupted. “You have the best timing.”

Lena laughed. “Thank you, Winn. You really didn’t have to come this far. I have other wheelchairs.”

Lena stopped standing on her tiptoes and transferred her weight to her shoeless foot. The shift in her posture and height compelled Mxy to glance at her feet. He asked, “Why are you always missing a shoe?”

“All the most dramatic princesses do it. Or so fairytales say…”

Mxy smirked at her appropriated comment. “I’ll go find it,” he said, and disappeared in a puff of blue smoke.

Winn leaned forward and hurriedly pressed something into Lena’s palm. His odd behavior obviously required secrecy, so Lena quickly hid the slip of paper against her dress and wrist.

“There are cameras in the parking lot, but I think this is too far for them to see much,” Winn said, scaring Lena.

“What’s going on?”

Winn explained, “The temporary D.E.O. director doesn’t trust me and has me under constant surveillance. She’s not a fan of Supergirl.” He nodded at her hand. “I just passed you a letter from Kara. I was supposed to deliver it to you once you got to Lenax 9, but you never did because of your accident. I was afraid that if I gave it to you in headquarters it would be confiscated.” He shrugged. “I haven’t read the letter but I know D.E.O. shouldn’t be poking its head into your business. I’m sorry about everything. I hope you don’t lose your company.”

Lena closed her fist around the paper as Mxy popped back into the parking lot beside her with her shoe in hand. He swung it on his index finger and said, “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

 

**_______________**

 

Lillian judged her from the great beyond, while perched on her coffee table. Thankfully, the black marble urn didn’t feature her picture on the outside, just a rose design. Her mother had hated roses. _Perfect._

Lena collapsed onto the cushions of her sofa and reached for the letter beside the urn. She’d taken her painkillers, changed her bandages and said her prayers.

Lena found it strange that less than a week ago she had been playing videogames with Kara on this very same couch, and the week before that they had pelted each other with the cushions after smearing strawberry jelly on the carpet.

Kara had shown up with a box of assorted doughnuts from her favorite bakery.

“You always know when I haven’t eaten the whole day,” Lena had joked, biting into a chocolate frosted doughnut.

Kara had smiled, reached forward and brushed her thumb over Lena’s top lip to remove her icing mustache. Lena didn’t think much of it, even when Kara put the thumb in her mouth to suck off the icing.

Kara was too difficult to read. She always smiled, hardly ever blushed, considered everyone a friend, and was, quite literally, an alien.

Lena took a long, shuddering breath and prepared herself for the worst. Kara’s words poured over her like an icy shower on a crisp winter morning.

 

_Dear Lena,_

_You’re not here, and it’s my fault. I understand why you are upset for not being part of the ship crew. But I want you to know that I have never considered you inferior. Being human is not a weakness. In fact, your humanity is what strengthens your resolve and drives all of the wonderful projects you complete._

_It has been an absolute privilege to be your friend. Please, take care of yourself. You often put the needs of others above your own. Let me handle this, let me save the world. You’ve already done so much for the human race without the need for superpowers._

_If anything happens to me, and I don’t come back, tell Mxy I still expect him to keep his promise._

_Love,_

_Kara._

Lena lunged off of her sofa, took her personal elevator down to Mxy’s floor and banged on his door insistently. Mxy opened the door while wearing a red tuxedo. The piano music, stream of loud gossip and sudden wave of strong shrimp smell from within his apartment indicated he was having an extravagant party.

Lena ignored it all, shoved the letter in his face and asked, “What is this?”

Mxy leaned his forearm on the doorframe and squinted. “I’m 98 percent sure that is a piece of paper.”

Lena pulled back her hand and explained, “It is a letter from Kara, where she says that you made her a promise regarding me. What promise?”

Mxy opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, letting his jaw hang open for a couple of breathless seconds, and finally said, “I promised to keep the promise a secret.”

Lena stomped her foot. “Mxy!”

He threw his head back and let out a long-suffering groan. “Fine. I promised to take care of you.”

“When were you going to share this with me?”

“When were you going to tell me you had a cape fetish?”

“I don’t—you’re not distracting me, I’m not letting you. How long ago did you make this promise?”

“Well,” Mxy scratched the back of his ear, a nervous tic. “It wasn’t really a promise in the beginning, more of a threat. She pinned me to a wall the day before we left to that boring ball and said she would rip my head off if I hurt you.”

“I’m oddly turned on right now.”

“Understandable.” Mxy nodded. “I told her I wouldn’t. The job included dental insurance. I wasn’t leaving my position anytime soon.”

Lena didn’t berate his joke, too busy mulling over the new information. Kara had been secretly looking out for her. “And then what changed?”

“You became my favorite person on Earth,” Mxy said breezily. “So she made me promise that time to crush Cadmus and mean executives with equal fervor.”

A surge of panic and excitement tingled through Lena’s body. She didn’t care how, but she was going to rescue Kara. Lena pointed heavenward with her index finger and exclaimed, “I’m going up there and I’m going to find Kara.”

Mxy raised his eyes to the ceiling, expression skeptical. “The sixtieth floor?”

“Space, Mxy, space!”

“Oh.” He put a hand on his chest and sighed in relief. “I thought you’d overdosed on pain meds and were having a serious hallucinogenic episode.”

Lena’s grin became wider than ever. L-Corp. The federal investigations. Her various unfinished projects. The family reputation. Everything clicked into place in her head as if by magic.

“I have a plan,” she revealed.

“I knew you’d come up with something.” Mxy winked. “Where do we have the launch? The FBI is all over Lenax 9.”

Lena smirked. “Take your pick between Lenax 1 through 8.” Unlike others, Lena had several secret hideouts to choose from at leisure.

“You’re brilliant.”

“About time you realized it.”

“I’ll go with you,” Mxy assured. “But I have one condition.”

“Are you ever going to climb down from that pedestal?”

“You tell Kara the truth when we find her.”

“The truth?”

“How you feel. The dreaded ‘l’ word, and I’m not talking about the Showtime lesbian series.”

Her smile slipped. “Why?”

Mxy flicked her forehead with his index finger. “Get in the game, Lena. You can’t even warm up at the starting line if you don’t make your intentions known. And hey, maybe Kara says she doesn’t feel the same. But it’s out there. And you don’t have to choke forever on what-could-have-been. And either way, she would be an idiot to refuse you…” He leaned close and whispered in disgust, “… for a _bartender_.”

She refolded the letter tenderly, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. “You’re a god, though. That’s some pretty tough competition.”

Mxy nodded, feigning consideration. “I don’t know. I already have a shrine dedicated to you in my closet. Can I make Winn my first human sacrifice?”

She swatted his shoulder. “Leave the poor boy alone.”

Mxy opened his door fully. “Want to check out my Ocean’s Eleven reunion party? The theme had to be Alzheimer’s awareness or Matt Damon wouldn’t come.”

“Clooney in there?”

“It cost me. I had to help his wife repatriate some ancient Greek sculptures from London. Also Casey Affleck is here and, you’re not going to believe this, but he brought his Oscar. According to Matt, he takes it everywhere, even the bathroom.”

Lena raised a skeptic brow. “Dress me in Dolce & Gabbana, godmother. I’ll have him crying by the end of the night.”

Mxy rubbed his hands together like a mad scientist. “One gorgeous gown coming right up.”

 

**_______________**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism! 
> 
> [I think I’m going to change the story summary to: Welcome to the shitshow.]
> 
> Lena’s Wardrobe (in order of appearance):
> 
> Carolina Herrera striped beaded cocktail [dress](https://www.lyst.com/clothing/carolina-herrera-strapless-striped-beaded-cocktail-dress-multi-colors/).
> 
> Giuseppe Zanotti black cruel [stilettos](https://www.lyst.com/shoes/giuseppe-zanotti-cruel-43/).
> 
> Linda Farrow 22 karat gold trim [sunglasses](https://www.lyst.com/accessories/linda-farrow-54mm-sunglasses-yellow-gold-black/?reason=search-product).


	7. No Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mxy exploits a trans-dimensional loophole and returns to earth. Lena hires the universe’s most intense assistant. Kara can’t handle Lena’s troublesome bestie. Cue asteroid heading for earth!

As Lena Luthor got ready for her date with Bruce Wayne, she asked herself, _What year is it again?_

She twirled in front of the standing mirror to watch light glitter off her dress. It was a Pamella Roland design, an exquisite silk dress of different orange shades and soft yellows that made her body look sun-kissed. The classy silhouette had nude fabric over her collarbone, underneath her breasts and across her stomach.

“Marry me,” Mxy begged from the bed, resting his cheeks on his bunched hands to stare at her in awe.

Lena tore her eyes from her reflection and leaned down to grab a shoe from the two pairs on the floor. She turned to Mxy and presented the models for comparison. “Christian Louboutin leather or Giuseppe Zanotti crystals?”

“Zanotti. The world must see your cute toes.”

Lena’s lips twisted in mock disgust. “You are so greasy.”

“You love it!” Mxy shot back, rolling onto his back and retrieving the _CatCo_ magazine on the pale blue comforter. “Your eyes are more beautiful than any crystallite or mineral in the five dimensions of reality.”

“You want something,” Lena guessed, throwing the Louboutin heel at his bent knees.

“You,” Mxy whispered, peeking in her direction from the top of the glossy magazine.

“Oh shut up.” Lena ignored his smoldering gaze and fussed with her hair. She’d pulled it to the side in a dual texture braid. As an afterthought, she added, “Louder.”

Mxy reached for the remote control on the comforter blindly and raised the volume of her plasma.

Lena had pushed a dozen clothing racks out of her masterful closet to find the perfect outfit. She moved between them to sit beside Mxy’s head at the foot of her four-poster bed. While watching the screen across the room, she slipped on crystal-embellished stilettos.

The balding announcer of _National City News at 8 P.M_ conversed with an astrologist wearing sequined robes. The astrologist was in the midst of a tirade, “Capricorn! Beware of men with questionable intentions.” Lena’s eyes flicked to Mxy. “A beautiful snake can spit venom and don’t drink orange juice this week. I repeat, don’t drink orange juice. You belong to the element of Earth, along with Taurus and Virgo. Do not leave the planet.”

“What… the… hell…” Lena hissed under her breath. _I am not about to let this idiot make me a believer of absolute nonsense!_

The announcer dismissed the astrologist and moved on to another story. “In other scientific news…” Lena snorted at the sheer audacity of that statement. “… an enormous black hole has been found hiding in a toxic gas cloud around 3,000 light years away from Earth. According to scientists, the black hole has twenty times the mass of the sun—”

Suddenly, the screen switched and Lena was staring at Wile E. Coyote chasing an impossibly fast Road Runner in a desert.

Lena tried to snatch the remote from a laughing Mxy. He put it between his big toe and index toe to keep it out of her reach, and then skimmed through channels with the big toe of his other foot. Lena was mildly impressed by his acrobatics.

A channel with a panel of blondes sitting at a table sparked his interest. The woman with the fakest smile spoke directly into the camera, “According to a close friend of Lena Luthor, the heiress is planning a quickie wedding in New York because she is three months pregnant.”

Mxy sprang up into a sitting position and held Lena’s shoulders in a firm grip. “If it’s twins, let me name them Dolce and Gabbana.”

Lena yanked the remote from his toes and smacked him on the head with it. “Don’t support this kind of poor journalism. You’ve seen my schedule. I have no friends,” she murmured darkly, skipping channels until she returned to the news.

Unfortunately, the program had progressed to a local segment. A different announcer interviewed an old woman on the street. As a cross-eyed poodle growled in her arms, the woman yelled into the microphone, “That Luthor woman is responsible for the upcoming solar eclipse!”

“Blaming me is trending,” Lena seethed.

Mxy shifted onto her lap and rested his head on her thighs. He asked nonchalantly, “Did you take your medication?”

“I don’t need you to baby me.” Lena poked his forehead sharply. “And while we’re on the subject, no spying tonight.” To further emphasize her point, she pulled on the lapels of his blazer in a warning tug.

Mxy wore a houndstooth two-button suit. Although he overdressed on a regular bases (“I can’t be seen at Starbucks wearing loafers without socks!”), there was no way in hell he’d worn an Armani suit to watch cartoons in her bed until he passed out from boredom.

Mxy picked imaginary lint from his blazer. “I have a date tonight.”

Lea snorted. “You’re the one night stand type.”

“I’m not a heartbreaker,” Mxy swore. “Is it my fault everyone finds me irresistible? They take me home, propose marriage and introduce me to their galactic dictator fathers. And I’m like, ‘We had one drink.’”

“Galactic dictator?”

“Bombastic vibrator?” Mxy echoed a jumble of words, undoubtedly pretending he didn’t understand her question.

Lena didn’t pursue the subject for the sake of her sanity. She attempted to rise from the bed but Mxy didn’t budge. He said in a singsong voice, “I have a gift for you. Close your eyes!”

Lena complied, sighing. She felt Mxy rummaging through the inner pocket of his blazer on her lap. He grabbed the wrist of her right hand and slipped something onto her ring finger. Lena knew what it was. Still, she gasped in shock at the sight of the colossal 35-Karat diamond and platinum engagement ring.

Mxy clucked his tongue teasingly. “Bruce doesn’t stand a chance against me.”

Lena wiggled her fingers to watch the light reflect on the mesmerizing diamond. She joked, “I could find Bruce breathlessly charming tonight and call off our wedding.”

Mxy pouted. “He has the personality of sandpaper. Moist sandpaper that just crumbles in your hands.”

“And a beautiful ass,” Lena pointed out.

“Should I be worried?”

Lena pushed Mxy off her thighs and stood abruptly. He spun off the bed and landed on her rug with a grunt. Lena jumped over his waist to walk toward her bedroom door. She decided to leave Mxy with a disturbing thought as a parting gift as well.

“Maybe Kara should be worried too,” she agreed, slipping out of the room and closing the door.

Lena saw Bruce as soon as she arrived in the marble lobby of her high-rise. He spoke to the concierge in a hushed tone and, to her utter horror, held a bouquet of red roses.

Lena played with the curls falling over her forehead to purposely show off her engagement ring—hoping it would repel Bruce’s advances as the emotional equivalent of bug spray. Or rat poison. He didn’t take the hint and thrust the bouquet into her arms.

“Thank you.” Lena immediately passed the bouquet to the concierge and instructed, “Leave these with my fiancé, the handsome Italian.”

Bruce didn’t wince, seemingly impervious to the slight. He walked Lena to the town car parked in front of the entrance. When he opened the back door and motioned for her to enter first, he asked, “Your assistant isn’t joining us?”

Lena answered, “He’s working on a very important and confidential project. He sends his love.”

“YOU DRESS LIKE A CONSTIPATED VAMPIRE AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!”

Lena and Bruce whirled in the direction of the banshee scream. They spotted Mxy on the mermaid statue decorating the second-story lobby balcony. He sat on the mermaid’s shoulders, legs swinging over her breasts, and cupped his hands around his mouth to add, “And keep your dirty claws off her!”

Lena practically shoved Bruce into his town car.

 

**_______________**

 

Fifteen minutes later, the corporate powerhouse duo arrived at Cornerstone Astilbe Restaurant. Lena reasoned Bruce either had the tact of a brain-damaged hermit crab or simply hadn’t read the details of her kidnapping police report. Her mother’s very essence lingered in the air. Lena frowned all the way to their table.

Bruce ordered their appetizers and wine without consulting her. She let him, too distressed with her memories to care. A phantom pain shot up her neck. That had been happening since the car accident. _The rescue mission depends on this meeting. Kara needs you. Embrace your Luthor demons._

“You have surprised me yet again with this invitation,” Bruce admitted, breaking her reverie. She watched him set the cloth napkin on his lap daintily. “You started a fire during our breakup dinner at Le Meurice.”

“An accident,” Lena reminded him, crossing her arms. _Only pretentious French restaurants use candles._

“You doused the tablecloth with wine.”

“You had gone on a half-hour rant about echolocation. An opportunity presented itself and I embraced divine intervention.”

Their waiter, a lanky man with a thin mustache, chose that moment to approach their table. He set two large wine glasses in front of them and opened a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon with a corkscrew. After pouring the desired amount into each glass, he bowed his head slightly and made a swift retreat.

Bruce glanced at her glass warily. Lena picked it up, pinky finger up, and said, “Don’t worry. You’re no use to me dead.”

Bruce smirked. “Shall we begin?”

They had chosen a round table near the back of the restaurant for privacy. The closest guests were three tables away and the muted lighting of the wall sconces made it difficult for anyone to read their lips.

Lena took a sip of wine and cleared her throat nervously. “I have a proposition for you.” Bruce leaned forward and Lena put a hand on his chest to stop his advance. She clarified, in a darker tone, “A business proposition.”

He sat back slowly. “I’m listening.”

It pained her to say the words. “You can buy L-Corp for five billion tonight. And by the end of the year, I will buy it back for ten.”

Lena watched Bruce intently: his shoulders stiffened, his brow twitched and, most noticeably, he grinded his jaw while contemplating her words. Her ex-boyfriend was basically incapable of expressing any emotion other than anger, even if he was squealing like a schoolgirl inside his head. Finally, he asked, “Why are you making such an outrageous offer?”

Lena expected disbelief.

“Truthfully, I am a villain.” She raised her hands as if surrendering for an unnamed crime. “There is blood on these hands according to eight out of ten National City civilians. Or so a survey in _CatCo_ oh-so-helpfully informed me. It was right next to my horoscope.”

“This kind of humor isn’t typical of you.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed people have a lot of preconceived notions about me.” She dragged the menu onto her lap and began browsing the choices. “The government confiscated several of my unfinished projects for molecular diagnostics. My entire organization is under criminal investigation because my mother was creating a biological weapon with the North Koreans, or the Russians, or whoever. There are thirty thousand jobs on the line and do you know why?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Because you’re a Luthor.”

“Bingo.” She flipped a menu page. “If I give up my company, the political pressure will shift from senseless obliteration to tactful investigation. By giving up control, I am letting the public and government think I will have nothing to do with any kind of cover-up. I cannot control what does not belong to me.”

“You won’t attempt to salvage your family’s reputation?”

“I’ll die as an untrustworthy Luthor. That’s never going to change.”

“You won’t take your fiancé’s last name?”

“Mxy is like Beyoncé. He only uses a first name.”

“Now, here’s the five billion dollar question. Why would I buy L-Corp?”

The waiter returned with his arms crossed behind his back and asked, “Do you know what you wish to have for dinner?”

Bruce began, “She’ll have—”

“We’re still deciding,” Lena interrupted, shooting a glare at the waiter that had him scurrying in two seconds flat.

Lena gestured in the air as if she had an invisible checklist. “L-Corp has investments in cryptocurrency. It has the best patents for spintronic devices and dissipationless transistors for quantum computers. Brainwaves therapy? We basically invented it. Name the disease and we’re working on a pill to cure it.” She sprinkled passive aggressive flair into her speech. “ _Time Magazine_ called L-Corp a next generation conglomerate and, I quote, ‘a monster more terrifying than Godzilla.’ The reporter meant it disparagingly but I was flattered.” Then, she went on the attack. “Wayne Enterprises, on the other hand, has been falling in profits at a rather startling rate. Weren’t you down 12 percent in the last quarter compared to last year? And for a ‘green’ company, you’re still doing a hell of a lot of offshore drilling.”

Bruce opened his mouth to comment. Lena spoke over his excuse, “Despite my various scandals, L-Corp made an eight billion dollar profit last year distributed between fourteen locations. Stocks are up by five percent and not a single CEO or CFO has deserted me in the midst of this treason nonsense. My work and success prove I am not just a sensational headline. That’s why you should accept my offer.”

Bruce scowled. “You sound like Lex.”

“Thank you.” She sipped her wine again. “My main focus during our one year secret partnership will be transitioning your factories into prime examples of renewable energy, mainly solar. We will also have a little side project with the Amazon Rainforest for PR reasons. We’ll discuss the specifics later. Consider it a gift. I do all the work and you get all the credit… for one year.”

Bruce stood abruptly, looming over the table. He truly was a dark knight: dark hair, dark eyes, dark suit and darkening features. His tone was condescending. “So you’ll be pulling the strings behind-the-scenes after all?”

“You expect me to hand you a billion-dollar company and just _hope_ you don’t drive it into the ground within a year?” Lena replied, tucking a curl behind her ear. “You lost five million last month on _Smart Shoes_. What genius in your sinking ship company told you that was a good idea? Because he’s the first person I’m going to fire.”

“Your proposal violates, at least, twelve corporate laws… and that’s just in National City.”

A hand fluttered to Lena’s heart, the one with the massive diamond. “A Luthor, proposing something illegal? You don’t say!” She rolled her eyes. “Sit back down. Don’t make a scene.”

Bruce sat begrudgingly. He undid his bowtie as he tried to process everything she’d laid out on the table. His voice became cautiously low. “Let me discuss this with my investors and we can sign next week.”

“Tonight or never,” Lena demanded. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”

“Europe?”

“Space.”

His eyebrows shot up. “I advise against leaving the planet.”

“I’m not here to ask for your permission. I’m here to offer you an opportunity of a lifetime. Whether you take it or not is up to you.”

The Alexander McQueen envelope clutch on her lap vibrated. Lena opened the heart-shaped turn-lock, took out the contract and handed it to Bruce. Then, she retrieved her phone as Bruce mulled over the fine print. The disturbance had been a text from Mxy, in capital letters, that encouraged _‘MAKE HIM BLEED!’_

Lena let her eyes wonder around the restaurant. It didn’t take long to spot him. Mxy sat four tables to her left and spied on them with a pair of pink binoculars. She would confidently wager her entire fortune that he got the idea from some stupid teen drama on Disney Channel. They stared at each other for a good thirty seconds, until Mxy waved at her sheepishly.

Lena typed her response so hard into her phone she thought the screen would crack.

**LENA:** _You’re spying on me!_

His response came swiftly.

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3):** _Do u c me wearin a hideous scarf around my neck?_

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3):** _On date_

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3):** _Which happens 2 conveniently b in same place as yur date_

Lena bit her tongue. His text slang was atrocious to say the least.

**LENA:** _Your date is invisible?_

She saw him chuckle silently behind his apple martini.

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3):** _In bathroom / pretty sur doin cocaine_

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3): ** _If Potato in Throat refuses u – WAR!!!_

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3): ** _Getting dirt from Selena_

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3): ** _Exes should start support group_

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3): ** _Call it Women Against the Repopulation of Soul-Sucking Bats!_

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3):** _U forgot 2 mention Bruce is in2 S &M…_

**CATASTROPHE (~Mxy <3):** _Discuss? ;-)_

That was the moment Lena realized he was, in fact, on a date with one of the exes. She slid her thumb across her throat in a mock slitting motion while holding his stare. The color drained from Mxy’s face. She didn’t need to type the words. He knew he was a dead man.

Lena shoved the phone back into her purse and picked up the menu to hide her blushing cheeks.

Bruce took another minute to skim the contract. Once satisfied, he put it aside and asked, “When is your wedding?”

Lena grew suspicious of the sudden topic switch.

She pressed, “Yes or no?”

Without warning, Bruce reached for her free hand across the table and squeezed it. Lena actually felt bile rise up in her throat. She shook off his hand as if it were some parasitic fly and blurted, “You can’t be serious!”

“I want to start over.” Bruce slid a hand over his eyes with a mixture of weariness and frustration. This was not going how he had hoped, Lena could tell. Unfortunately, he’d chosen a really bad time to have an ‘emotional breakthrough.’ He swore, “I plan to retire from my crime-fighting activities next year.”

Lena threw her head back in exasperation. The fact that she hadn’t outwardly groaned was a miracle. “This isn’t happening.”

“Give me another chance,” Bruce pleaded in his rough voice. “I can make you happy.”

“You get off punching people. Interrogating criminals while punching them. Jumping off buildings to punch crowds of people. This—” Lena motioned between them with a wave of her palm. “—It didn’t work, and it’s not going to work in the future.”

“Is it because of Mxy?”

“It’s like talking to a wall, I swear.” Lena downed the rest of her wine in one go and leaned back in her chair. She had tired of the façade. “I can get you Superman’s number.”

Bruce had the decency to look insulted. “I have his number.”

“Superman would never give you his phone number. You’re an emotionally constipated dumpster fire. But I will get you those digits so you can make numerous anonymous calls… just to hear his voice on lonely nights.”

Bruce cleared his throat. “What are you suggesting?”

“I could never make you happy, even if we had six Rugrats, all with mild cases of chiroptophobia. The Joker, Bane, Deadshot, _my brother_ Lex – you really think I didn’t know about them?”

Several tables away, Lena heard the distinct sound of choking. She knew it was Mxy. The damn brat was definitely eavesdropping.

The waiter was back, oblivious to the hostility hovering over the table. He asked, “Can I help narrow your dining choices?”

“No need,” Lena answered, closing her menu with a cruel smirk. “I want the fresh oysters with mignonette sauce. My guest here will have the seared scallops with foie gras. Do you know how they make foie gras, Bruce? Ducks are kept in individual cages where they can only sit and stand. They are force-fed for up to fifteen days by having a tube jammed down their throats until their stomachs look ready to burst. That sounds like something you would be into.”

“I didn’t—”

“Don’t.” Lena was in no mood to hear excuses. “Shut the fuck up and eat the duck.”

 

**_______________**

 

“… and then Selena had to slap me on the back because I started choking on the olive of my martini and, I swear to you, it was like the end of Legally Blonde when Elle rejected Warner—”

“Aerospace engineer at work!” Lena yelled from underneath the hull of _Return of_ _Karat Supernova: Lena Strikes Back_ (that was the last time she allowed Mxy to name anything). She tried to ignore her assistant’s loud gossiping while examining the exposed guts of her prized prototype, a mess of wires for electrical and power distribution, stabilization and control, rockets and pyrotechnics, and, most importantly, recovery aids.

Her team had done an impressive job with the spaceship. But after its predecessor disappeared without a trace, Lena would be damned if she didn’t fix the smallest module she found dissatisfactory.

She slid to the side on the low-profile creeper, to lie directly below the environmental control system, and grabbed a socket wrench from her tool belt to tighten a few bolts.

“No, I didn’t like the season finale. The Night King has a dragon. They’re screwed.”

“I’m canceling his subscription to HBO,” Lena promised under her breath, wiping sweat from her brow with the back of her glove and smearing grease on her hair. She reached down between her legs and snatched a right-angle drill, hoping the noise would drown out Mxy and his nonsense. She drilled another dozen screws into the control system compartment and pounded her fist on its surface to check the sturdiness.

“What are you talking about? I hated it when the Beast turned human in the end. I was lied to!”

Lena threw the drill aside and scribbled a few calculations on the back of her hand with the pen over her ear. She wrote messily across her palm: _disk lasers / PLT thrust of 5mN_.

“To be honest, I would thrive in a women’s prison…”

_Okay, that’s enough._ Lena shimmied her way out from underneath the ship. She emerged between two floor jacks and protected her eyes from the blinding lights in the maintenance hanger of Lenax 6. A few seconds later, she pulled herself up and climbed the stair car beside the spacecraft.

Mxy had yet to move from his spot on the windshield of the flight deck. He lounged against it as if it was a beach chair, in the middle of a ‘moon tanning’ session with swimming trunks and glasses. It didn’t matter that Lena told him there was no such thing; he’d insisted some homeless spiritual healer told him it was good for his aura.

Lena stopped climbing when she was at eyelevel with the fifth dimension disaster.

Mxy laughed into his phone, a rather thick book casually draped over his thigh. “That clown would terrify the Zordakks in the third dimension and they’re uglier than a dying cockroach.”

Lena whistled to get his attention and whirled her finger in the air in a wrap-it-up cue.

He had one job and he had yet to bring up the request in conversation. Realization dawned on Mxy and he said into the phone, “While we’re on Operation Attack of the Asteroid Menace... Huh… I did name it after the films! How did you know?”

Lena put her hands on her hips and looked to the heavens for guidance.

“Anyway, we need you to watch over the city.” Mxy nodded a few times, getting feedback. He informed Lena, “Barry will watch over National City so we can go find your future wife.” Lena heard loud screaming from the other line and then Mxy amended, rather poorly, “I mean, the Flash will watch over National City.” He rolled his eyes for good measure.

Mxy was the worst at keeping secrets. And he’d cracked into Lena’s vault without even trying.

“I need your help,” Lena lied, mainly to minimize the noise level in the hanger by about a 100% percent.

Mxy prattled into his glittery phone, “Let’s have lunch sometime this month. Find out what catering service Iris hired for your wedding. I want them to do Lena’s wedding to Kara. Alrighty, later Speedy Gonzales!”

The second Mxy hanged up Lena promised, “Barry and I are going to meet one day and, rest assured, we will plot your demise.”

“Awww, I’m touched.” Mxy propped his book onto his knees and began reading.

“I need your help,” Lena repeated. “I must keep you busy to contain the larvae infestation in your brain that you call ideas.”

Mxy lowered his sunglasses to wink. “I’m reading about our Lord and Savior Tywin Lannister.”

Lena loosened a screwdriver from her belt, twirled it between her fingers and hurled it in Mxy’s direction. It hit the book and sent it flying, leaving stray pages behind. Lena descended the stair car without a backward glance. “I’ll aim for your beautiful face next time.”

To her surprise, she found Winn waiting for her on the ground. He held a gigantic contraption in his hands that resembled a radio controller mixed with the motherboard of a computer.

“Are you sure about this?” Winn asked as soon as Lena jumped the last two steps.

“I’m the pessimist,” Lena reminded Winn with a smile.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Winn elaborated. “I had a team of 200 staffing the consoles during the _Placeholder Name_ launch. And we’re three people now.”

“Two,” Lena insisted. She didn’t need to clarify who the odd man out was. “Don’t worry. I can take care of the launch sequence from the flight deck. You’re a backup. My ship will change interstellar space travel forever.”

“Right… right…” Winn shrugged and raised the contraption in his hand up to his shoulders. “Well, I made the modifications you asked. I also don’t think this is a good idea. Who knows _what_ might answer?”

Mxy appeared beside Winn in the blink of an eye, making the shorter man jump. He demanded, “Wrap up the complaints. Lena has a dozen photonic laser thrusters to inspect.” His eyes shifted down and he exclaimed, “Why wasn’t I informed that we were doing karaoke before takeoff?” Mxy snatched the microphone-shaped transmitter on the side of Winn’s invention and announced into it, “Mxyzptlk is marrying Lena Luthor from Earth, queen of nanobots and designer pumps, and their love will be eternal and withstand the death of a thousand suns!”

A few seconds of utter silence followed.

Mxy tapped the receiver in annoyance. “Your microphone is broken.”

Winn explained, “That’s a transmitter for sending messages around the galaxy and, hopefully, across dimensions.”

Mxy threw the transmitter back at Winn as if it had suddenly become unbearably hot. The warning signs in Lena’s head wailed. She said, “Anything you want to share with the class, Mxy?”

“Nothing,” he answered.

His ‘nothing’ didn’t sound like nothing.

Lena walked toward the entrance of the spaceship, unwilling to engage with his personal drama. She instructed, “Winn, add the transmitter to the flight deck. Mxy, help me test the thrusters in the meantime.”

Lena entered the control station, walked through the middle hanger and made a right at the spherical docking section to arrive at the boosters. The room beside them had a pocket door that disappeared into the wall. Mxy was already inside waiting for her, waltzing around the dozen fragile thrusters in clear cylinder containers.

Lena went to the first cylinder and consulted the notes on her hand as she typed directions into the holographic screen on its surface. As always, she multitasked, dealing with the biggest problem in her life in a soothing tone. “I get that you and Barry keep no secrets from each other, but watch your mouth around Winn. I don’t want him to suspect anything.”

“You basically hyperventilate at the sight of Kara,” Mxy pointed out. “How is everyone clueless? Is there some kind of hormonal imbalance in the human race that makes commonsense an incomprehensible concept?”

“My friendship with her is more important than trying to attain her romantic affection—”

“You’re trying to back out of the promise you made me. Uh-uh, you’re confessing.”

“I can’t expect a man who holds weekly model slumber parties to understand.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining three weeks ago during the Cabo-themed _Cocktails and Vaginas on the Beach_ party. You were in the rooftop pool with that Australian who dated Orlando Bloom… or was it Leonardo Dicaprio?” Lena was speechless; she honestly could not come up with a single comeback to that. Mxy continued, “Listen, as someone who has dated women, men, every alien race imaginable and a couple of sentient inanimate objects, don’t ask, I can confidently tell you that you need help with your game. Here, flirt with me!”

Mxy leaned on the steel wall of the ship beside the door. He played with the hem of his shorts and bit his lower lip invitingly.

Lena couldn’t contain the short burst of laughter that overtook her. Still, she played along, awkwardly wiping her hands on her casual overalls and saying, “Can I buy you a drink?”

“You have to start with a bang.” Mxy coached. “’I drive spaceships. Can I inspect your cockpit?’ Something along those lines.”

“I’m not… aggressive in relationships.”

“You’re a submissive. Yes, we’ve established that.”

“I’m done with this conversation.”

Mxy fake-wiped a tear from his cheek. “You’re going to die alone.”

Winn popped his head into the room through the door. “What are you troublemakers discussing?”

“Thermonuclear reactors,” they answered simultaneously, and then clapped hands in silent victory over their flawless cover-up.

Winn scratched his cheek nervously. “Because I could hear you guys over the speakers. The transmitter next to the door is on.”

There was an awkward pause as Lena and Mxy acknowledge the revelation. They exchanged wary glances.

“So…” Winn grinned. “You love Kara?”

_And there go the last shreds of my dignity._

“I’m having a stroke,” Lena murmured fearfully, her chest constricting.

“You’re just hyperventilating again.” Mxy reached into a pocket of his shorts and took out an inhaler. “Take a puff.”

She did. And another. And another. It made breathing slightly easier.

As Lena clung to the inhaler for dear life, Mxy turned to Winn and blurted, “You better suddenly develop retrograde amnesia or you’re going to find yourself short of a leg.”

 

**_______________**

 

“Launch Control, this is _Karat Supernova_. We are go for launch.”

Winn nibbled on a pen in the control room of Lenax 6. He answered, “T-Minus sixty seconds and counting.”

Lena held on to the rectangular steering wheel, eyes darting between the different screens flashing in the flight deck. The mesh of colors from various buttons illuminated her face with harsh reds and yellows. She pulled on her seatbelts nervously while continuing the countdown. The runway remained dark except for a sole lighting strip bisecting its middle. In the seat beside her, Mxy fiddled with his fingers, having a thumb war with himself.

“Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve, ten —Mxy, put on your security harness!— nine, eight, seven —yes, I’m serious!— six, five, four —activating laser thrusters!— three, two, one, we have lift off!

The spaceship left the runway in a rush of air, a thousand feet off the ground in less than thirty seconds. In the distance, the lights of National City winked goodbye.

Lena spoke to Winn over her intercom headset. “Altitude and velocity are on line. We should break surface any second.”

Two seconds later, the spaceship was free of gravitation force and they had entered space.

Lena laughed, tears in her eyes. She hadn’t realized how terrified she’d been until that moment. The beautiful nothingness of space seemed to stare back at her through the windshield, billions upon billions of stars and planets and undiscovered wonders.

_And Kara_. _I’m coming for you_ , she promised. _Even if I have to scour the whole galaxy, I’m bringing you home._

Mxy clapped in celebration. “We didn’t burn up and die, hurray!”

Lena turned her face toward Mxy, ready to deliver a verbal lashing for interrupting her internal monologue. She choked. He cradled her mother’s urn in his lap.

Lena ordered aloud, “ _Karat Supernova_ , take over navigation. Continue route to asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. Winn, ghost in case of a malfunction.”

The mainframe answered, “Affirmative.”

Lena undid her seatbelts, marched to Mxy and took the urn from his lap. “What the hell is she doing here?”

Mxy explained, “I transported her at takeoff. My spiritual healer said we needed to bring a good luck charm. Plus, Lillian can be our mascot. We don’t have a talking raccoon or cute robot that speaks Japanese.”

“There’s something seriously wrong with you.”

“You’re not upset, right?” Mxy asked her back as she left the flight deck seething.

She responded, “Meet me at the trash chute and bring alcohol.”

There was no alcohol on the ship. Mxy showed up with a bottle of orange juice.

The trash chute was in the end of the first section of the tri-spherical ship. Mxy saw her standing there, arms crossed, eyes burning, and actually took a step back for half a second. He asked, rather nervously, “What are we doing?”

“Welcome to the funeral of Lillian Luthor,” she announced, certain Mxy would love her dramatic tone.

She never imagined attending the occasion in a black leather space suit (she really had to stop letting Mxy make decisions) but she wasn’t going to waste time redressing. Lena opened the square chute door, no larger than a home version, and placed the urn inside. Before closing the door and launching her mother into space, Lena decided to say a few words.

Her throat was suddenly very dry. “Lillian Luthor was an inventor, scientist and the leader of one of the worst terrorist organizations on Earth. A tyrant whose obsession with race purity and power broke her family apart. She was also a mother…” Lena pressed the back of a hand to her mouth and closed her eyes. She wouldn’t cry.

Mxy poured her a glass of orange juice for courage and she sipped it to continue. “Lillian was a demanding mother, cruel at times and cold at others. And although she never cared for me as much as my brother, she taught me important lessons that I will never forget. As she said, ‘Chin up, posture straight and make them pay.’” Lena took a deep breath. “I’m sorry you’re dead, mother. I’m sorry you couldn’t love me for who I was.”

Lena closed the door and the urn was sucked out of the container. From the floor-to-ceiling glass bridge, Lena watched it happen.

Mxy gave her a sad smile. “You okay?”

“I have to let go of the past,” Lena admitted, done with her glass and taking the bottle from Mxy to take a swig. “My attempt to get blindingly drunk on orange juice is sure to fail.” She thrust the bottle into the air and said, “Thanks for the memories, Mom. I’ll try to forget them as best as I can.”

Mxy slid an arm over her shoulders and pulled her to him as the urn disappeared into the darkness.

 

**_______________**

 

“Lena! Bruce just texted me a naked picture! Did you give him my number?”

Mxy barged into the bathroom without a single knock.

Lena squealed, trying to hide as much of herself behind her hands and a bar soap. At least, the glass panel separating her from Mxy was foggy. She screeched, “GET OUT!”

Mxy couldn’t care less that he had interrupted her shower. His eyes were glued to the screen of his phone. “To be honest, I didn’t think much of hooking my phone to that transmitter Winn gave you. But, apparently, it gave me amazing reception!” He tilted his head and brought the phone closer to his face. “I understand why you dated him now. I’m still not touching this crazy with a ten-foot pole, and that says a lot coming from me.”

The ship sounded an alarm that drowned out her next curse. The mainframe’s robotic voice stated, “Foreign object has been detected flying 100 kilometers from ship.”

“What is it?” Lena demanded, reaching for her towel through a small crack in the panel and wrapping it around her middle.

The mainframe responded, “A meteor about 330 feet in diameter moving at a speed of 20 kilometers per second. Database shows it has been labeled as Meteor 498Y.”

Winn added through the speakers, “That’s the meteor Kara headed toward to wait out the _Placeholder Name_ mission.”

Lena asked, “What is it doing so close to earth?”

They had left the planet a mere twelve hours ago.

The mainframe revealed, “Warning. The meteor shows an abnormal flight pattern and contains unclassifiable extraterrestrial material. Engaging with foreign substances is considered a potential health hazard. Driving closer to the meteor will also interfere with radio signals.”

Lena listened to the information intently. Not that it mattered. She had made up her mind the second she heard the meteor’s name.

“Mxy, helm the ship. Bring it as close as you can to the meteor. I’ll approach it with one of the bipedal robots to detect any life forms on its surface at a closer range.”

“That’s dangerous,” he admonished.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, this is a rescue mission.”

Mxy brought a hand to his forehead in a soldier salute and sang, “Aye, aye, captain!”

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten that you almost saw me naked!” She warned.

“You were naked?” He frowned, genuinely upset. “I knew Batman would ruin my life somehow.”

Mxy disappeared in a swirl of blue fog to avoid the shampoo and conditioner Lena hurled at him. She had been aiming for his face that time.

Lena hopped out of the shower, shaking water off her legs and undoing the towel to dry her arms in a rush. She couldn’t have a proper, uninterrupted shower even in space. After putting on her tight leather spacesuit, she ran for the spaceship hanger housing the manned bipedal robots. She found them lined perfectly beside an emergency landing shuttle. Mxy had their model names printed on the cockpits.

Lena passed Madam LaQueer, Honey Mahogany, Ginger Minj and Trixie Mattel. She stopped in front of Bob the Drag Queen, the largest of the models at twelve feet in height. She climbed into the cockpit and closed its door. After feeling around for the seatbelts, she slipped the corresponding earpiece into her right ear and informed Mxy, “I’m inside Bob the Drag Queen!” She heard him chuckling in her ear. “This is not the time to be amused.”

Lena switched on the interface, activated the boosters and flew out of the hanger as soon as Mxy opened the backdoor of the spacecraft. Her ride wasn’t smooth at first; she had a propensity to lean to the side, which caused a chain effect of nauseating whirls. Eventually, she got a better hang of piloting and was able to head toward Meteor 498Y.

The meteor consumed her navigation screen when it did something Lena didn’t expect.

It stopped moving.

From her earpiece, she heard Mxy yelling, “Get back on the ship!”

Lena was a fly in a spider web, awestruck and doomed.

The meteor surface shifted like a dark river disturbed by a drop of rainwater. Lena immediately thought of a camouflaged lizard, shaking its core to reveal magnificent fiery-red scales.

_It’s a warship_ , Lena realized.

The 330-foot meteor was simply the nose of the most massive spacecraft she had ever seen. The gigantic steel monster left her breathless with its architectural perfection. It width appeared endless; her robot was truly a fly its remote manipulator arms could squish. One mechanical arm advanced toward her and Lena pulled on her accelerator lever desperately.

It was a futile effort.

She was in its grip in less than a minute. And after a harsh tug, Lena’s head smacked into the interface, splattering it with her blood.

The world zoomed in and out of focus and she heard Mxy’s voice in her ear saying, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

 

**_______________**

 

Lena awoke in a room with an eerie green hue.

She was in a fetal position, spazzing, as the image of the mechanical arm crushing the robotic exterior surrounding her replayed in her head. She brought a hand to her throbbing forehead and was surprised to see blood on her fingertips, and a shackle around her wrist.

Lena sat up and tugged at the chains connecting her to the wall. They were sturdy and magnetic; she didn’t stand a chance of breaking them. She gave up and took in her surroundings.

And that’s when she saw her.

She laid facedown on the floor a few feet away, her silvery spacesuit in tatters and her blonde hair matted.

“KARA!” Lena screamed, crawling toward her on hands and knees.

Lena loomed over Kara in tears, terrified of moving her. Slowly, she rolled Kara onto her back and cushioned her head on her thighs.

Kara’s face was bloody too, her lips split and bruised, cheeks marred with scratches and burns. Lena was simultaneously livid and horrified that she had been treated horribly as a prisoner. She ran her thumb over a burn mark on her neck and Kara hissed in her sleep.

“It’s alright,” Lena soothed, although she doubted Kara could hear her. She raised Kara higher until she leaned entirely on her body. To support the weight, Lena rested against the wall. Kara’s head fell onto her shoulder so lifelessly that Lena began to sob.

_What’s wrong?_ She wanted to ask, but Kara wouldn’t be able to answer.

Lena couldn’t fathom what had caused Kara such great pain. Then the odd warmth of the room made sense—its sickly green color—its effervescence.

They were in a cell.

Made of Kryptonite.

 

**_______________**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Well…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7nzml-zZ9M)
> 
>  
> 
> I’m kind of psychic. I have a fifth dimension sense. It’s like I have ESPN or something…
> 
> Lena’s Wardrobe (in order of appearance):
> 
> Pamella Roland ombre silk [gown](https://www.lyst.com/clothing/pamella-roland-ombre-silk-gown-light-poppy/).
> 
> Giuseppe Zanotti Coline suede and crystal [sandals](https://www.lyst.com/shoes/giuseppe-zanotti-coline-suede-and-crystal-sandal/).
> 
> Wilfredo Rosado 35-Karat engagement [ring](https://peopledotcom.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/mariah-carey-r-600x450.jpg?w=600&h=450).
> 
> Alexander McQueen off-white heart envelope [clutch](https://www.ssense.com/en-us/women/product/alexander-mcqueen/off-white-heart-envelope-clutch/2183847?clickref=1100l4yPA9T9&utm_source=PH_1011l2075&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_content=1011l18944&utm_term=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.lyst.com%2F).
> 
> [To the lovely reader who asked for Lena x Diana one nightstand story, never say never. Though you have my blessing to write it yourself.]


End file.
